When the fun and flurry of preparations for students starting university or college has finished, life’s next chapter also begins for their parents.

For many ‘empty nesters’, this milestone marks the beginning of their lives without children in the house. It can also bring to the surface long suppressed irritations and tensions that have bubbled under the surface, but whose impact may have been lessened by the demands of children and busy lives.Two decades of hectic work and child care schedules can result in parents losing touch with each other and becoming different people to the couple who tied the knot.

In today’s climate of longer life expectancies and greater financial independence, the empty nest syndrome is a key factor to wives and husbands splitting up rather than spending the next three two or even decades together.

Before becoming another ‘grey divorce’ and empty nester statistic, consider the following steps:

Express your feelings

Communicating honestly and openly and sharing and expressing your feelings and concerns is vital. Long-standing relationships deserve time, careful consideration and discussion. Go for a long walk in the country or to the seaside: it is the ideal setting for an exploratory conversation or to clear the air, as it is very difficult to go any distance without talking.

Reconnect

Being free of parenting responsibilities can be a great opportunity for couples to take up new interests or return to fun hobbies they enjoyed in their pre-children days. Having more time to focus on each other will rekindle rapport and affection. Marriage is a partnership – go back to being on the same team.

 Create a life plan

People running or involved in business would not dream of operating without a plan. Preparing your future together also requires a well thought through plan which includes finances and key goals and aspirations such as moving house, hobbies and holidays. This focus is key to help you maximize your pre-retirement and retirement years and devising it before the children move away will help the transition.

Keep communicating

There is no substitute for ongoing dialogue and communication. If your marriage is in a rut – get out of it. Set up a weekly ‘date night’ and share and discuss your exciting plans for your golden years and adventures.

Until you are actually without somebody you have shared most of your life with, you cannot know how much you will miss them. If your marriage is worth saving you will find solutions to your problems.

For information about divorce and finances, family or children law or Contentious Trusts and Estates, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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The case of a successful energy trader – who is appealing against a High Court decision to award almost half of her £7 million fortune to her adulterous ex-husband – is sparking concerns among divorcing couples.

The outcome of Julie Sharp’s Civil Appeal Court plea for a “fair divorce settlement” following the judgement to allocate Robin Sharp almost £3m after a marriage lasting just four years – is awaited with interest.

This case is a stark reminder that the rules of maintenance and capital distribution take no account of fault and apply to the main breadwinner – irrespective of the fact that the divorce was apparently prompted by her former husband embarking on a new relationship while they were married.

It also illustrates that conduct and gender are not factors in a court’s decision, which is made after appraising a couple’s joint assets and deciding how they should be divided whether by sharing equally, or with some other adjustment to meet the reasonable needs of both.

Costly, distressing and, in this case, high-profile courtroom battles over settlements can be avoided with Arbitration; which allows couples to reach a divorce settlement without the trauma of the courts. The sessions are held in private, which means that journalists cannot report the details of the divorce or settlement.

The hearings, which are arranged at clients’ convenience, and at comfortable venues, see the arbitrator determine who should have what. Similar to a judge, they collect relevant facts and evidence and base their decision on this evidence – taking into account the views of both parties. The Award is final and binding in both parties.

Arbitrators are not only qualified in their process – they are also experienced family lawyers who are either former judges or family law barristers or solicitors. Jones Myers founder, Peter Jones, was one of the country’s first arbitrators, when arbitration was introduced in 2012 to resolve differences on financial and property matters.

Two other ways to avoid confrontation and discord are pre-nups and post-nups.

A pre-nup agreement – which is drawn up between couples before marrying – sets out how their assets will be split if the marriage fails. Although not legally binding, a carefully thought through agreement, drawn up with independent advice, is quite likely to be upheld by a court.

They are also more likely to be accepted by a divorce judge if they were agreed well in advance of a marriage – and if there is no implication that one party was coerced into signing.

Post-nups are entered into after marriage; with the same aim as a pre-nup should a court decision have to be made. They are often made by couples in a second marriage who are seeking to protect children of previous relationships, or by those who wanted a pre-nup but didn’t have time, or or for some other reason felt it inappropriate, to arrange one prior to the marriage.

For both pre-nup and post-nup agreement to carry their full weight, both parties must enter into them of their own free will, without undue influence or pressure – and be fully informed of their implications.

Legal advice and disclosure are desirable, but what matters is that both parties are fully aware of the implications and have the information necessary to make an informed decision.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on divorce affecting business and divorce  or wider divorce related issues including pre-nups and post-nups, leave a comment below, call the Jones Myers team on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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Angela Jolie’s announcement that she and her ex, Brad Pitt, are committed to putting the family first post-divorce resonates deeply with Jones Myers’ ethos of always focusing on children’s best interests.

Praising her former husband as a ‘wonderful father’, the high-profile actress emphasises how their children’s health and wellbeing will remain a top priority because; “We will always be a family, always.”

This spirit of compromise and cooperation where separated and divorced couples avoid criticising each other in front of their offspring – and genuinely strive for what will make their children happiest – is vital to harmonious and healthy family relationships and domestic arrangements.

At Jones Myers our dedicated Children Department is made up of some of the most experienced professionals balancing the needs of children and their parents in wide-ranging issues.

As collaborative family lawyers we advise parents to reach a settlement, wherever possible, by avoiding protracted, expensive and stressful court confrontations.

In the knowledge that parents know their children best, we carefully consider the effects of their break-up on them, and, together, devise the most suitable living arrangements. Agreements reached in this way are more likely to work in the long-term and be respected by the wider family.

Our team is headed by Kate Banerjee – who is consistently praised as a ‘leading individual’ by Chambers UK and Legal 500 – and has amassed extensive expertise in international child abduction cases.

A Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit, Kate has “Higher Court Rights,” which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service. A specialist in child protection law, Kate is also a Member of the Child Care Panel with experience representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Our Children Department specialises in residence and contact disputes, care proceedings, international child abduction, adoption, special guardianship, relocation and public law cases, attracting complex and varied casework in the UK and overseas

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on children and divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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According to a new study, one in three (35%) of this year’s retirees have experienced a divorce. They could lose £2,100 in retirement income, and one in five will retire with outstanding debts averaging £22,100.

The research, which also found that divorced people are more likely to delay retirement, follows hot on the heels of legislation allowing over 55s to access their pension funds.

On paper the new pension rules seem to give people greater flexibility on how to use their money – and up to 25% of the fund can be drawn down tax free.

Some financial advisers have even suggested that the pension changes will benefit those whose marriages have broken down – particularly the so called ‘silver separators’. They argue that the fact that older people can access their entire pension pot could help to prevent the sale of a house, or provide the cash to buy a new property.

However, not only does pension money spent earlier reduce income for later in life, but the tax implications for taking out cash could be substantial – calculations in the Daily Telegraph show that more than £50,000 in tax could be payable on a £200,000 pension pot.

A pension fund can be one of the most complex assets separating couples have, and the issue of how – and if – it might be divided can be very complicated. The main options are:

• Offsetting – where the value of the pension is balanced against another asset – usually the family home. The person accepting the house then gives up all future rights to their partner’s pension.
• Attachment is where a percentage of a pension is set aside for an ex-spouse.
• Pension sharing is a way of having a clean break with a percentage of a pension being transferred into a separate scheme in the name of a former wife or husband.

Will the supposed flexibility offered by the pension reforms give financial advisers and family lawyers greater freedom to find a solution that works best for both parties in a divorce? Might courts take the view that pension pots are just another form of savings accounts?

Our experienced team of specialist lawyers at Jones Myers will be looking at the full implications of the new pension reforms for divorcing couples over the coming months.

If you have any queries about an existing divorce settlement, or need advice on any financial aspect of separation or divorce please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail.

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Spousal maintenance, which is quite distinct from child maintenance, is a payment made by either a husband or wife to the other on a divorce. It is most likely to be awarded to women as they tend to be the ones who have earned less during the marriage, or who have stayed at home to bring up children.

In his recent ruling in the Court of Appeal on the Wright v Wright case, Lord Justice Pitchford said divorcees with children aged over seven should be working for a living. His judgement on the case brought by top equine vet Ian Malcolm Wright against his former wife Tracey Wright, is now likely to be used by judges in family courts throughout England and Wales.

Growing numbers of husbands may go back to court to reduce or strike out existing maintenance orders for their former wives. Like Mr Wright, they may feel that original orders were unfair and that they should not be expected to support their exes indefinitely.

In some countries former spouses receive little or no maintenance, or it is awarded using a formula.  In England and Wales judges are able to use their discretion to decide how much an ex will receive – one of the reasons why London is seen as the divorce capital of the world.

This latest judgement highlights the need for separating couples to understand key issues which courts will look at when deciding on maintenance:

• The present income of both husband and wife, the value of any property and assets, and any future income, including the potential earning capacity of both parties
• Whether one party has stayed at home and been a long term carer of the couple’s children and therefore has been wholly dependent on their ex for financial support
• Whether a husband or wife has given up their own career. This might be to care for children, for an elderly relative or to support their spouse in his or her business
• The ages of any children. The judge in the Wright case sent out a clear message to ‘stay at home’ mothers or fathers that they should be looking for part time work once children reach age seven
• The couple’s standard of living before the marriage ended together with any benefits, such as private healthcare, that would be lost after a divorce
• Both parties’ financial needs and responsibilities
• The health of each person, including any disabilities
• Planned retirement age of the couple. Malcolm Wright told the Court of Appeal that he shouldn’t be expected to support his former wife on a diminished income after his retirement at 65
• A court has a duty under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 to consider if a ‘clean break order’ would be appropriate. This is where a husband’s or wife’s financial claim against the other comes to an end after a mutually agreed period.

The law regarding the flexible approach to maintenance in England and Wales could change.  Baroness Deech’s Private Members’ Bill, currently going through the House of Lords, proposes far reaching changes to all financial aspects of divorce.

If you have any questions or comments about spousal maintenance or divorce please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail.

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Choosing a collaborative solicitor – a lawyer who is trained to help reach divorce settlements without going to court – means that issues, including finances and children, are likely to be settled in a more consultative way.

With the government pressing for an increase in out of court options for divorce and family matters, it makes sound economic sense for couples to undergo this process – which promotes a ‘children first’ approach. It also ensures that the lawyers representing them remain on the same page – even if the couples themselves are at loggerheads.

Collaborative family lawyers communicate effectively to break down barriers to reach a settlement – regardless of any animosity clients feel towards their exes. This can speed up the divorce process, and possibly reduce the costs, with the couple both feeling more in control of their own destinies.

How do I find a collaborative divorce lawyer?

The Leeds Collaborative Lawyers Practice, Organisational and Development Group (POD) is a good place to start.  It comprises of collaboratively trained lawyers – including members of the Jones Myers team – and other professionals such as IFAs, forensic accountants, mediators and life coaches, who share an interest in promoting the good practice of collaborative law.

Details of collaborative lawyers are also available from Resolution, an organisation for divorce solicitors who takea constructive, non-confrontational approach to family law matters. CFL North is useful for finding collaborative family lawyers in the north of England – you’ll find several lawyers from Jones Myers on the website.

How do I persuade my ex to use a collaborative lawyer too?

We advise clients who are interested in the collaborative approach to encourage their former partner to review the above information and links to see how it works and what the benefits can be.

Emphasising the “children first” approach can be helpful. Likewise, a trusted family friend, financial adviser, or accountant could persuade your partner that having solicitors with similar values may make the divorce process simpler.

If both parties use collaborative lawyers is there a much better chance of avoiding court?

By definition the collaborative process is one that avoids court. If there is a non-collaborative case, where for some valid reason the collaborative process may not be appropriate – perhaps there is a lack of trust between the parties or there may be mental health/domestic abuse issues involving two collaboratively trained lawyers, it is likely their approach will be similar, civilised, constructive and solution driven, as opposed to lawyers who think litigation first, and talk second.

Are there any instances when it wouldn’t make any difference for both lawyers to be collaborative?

If both parties are hell bent on going to court, it will still be a more constructive experience if both lawyers are collaborative – even if their clients are not.

If there are complex financial assets or complicated issues relating to children, is it still best for both parties to have a collaborative lawyer?

Sometimes the complexity of the issue, or the nature of the people involved, will need a third party to make a decision.  This could be a Judge or an Arbitrator – but this should not mean that the lawyers have to behave aggressively. There is more chance of avoiding this problem if the lawyers are collaboratively trained.

What happens if my ex doesn’t use a collaborative lawyer – or even a lawyer who isn’t a specialist in divorce?

This does happen, although it is rare these days to come across a solicitor who is not a family law specialist.  At Jones Myers we always start the communication process assuming it will proceed in a constructive manner and that both parties are seeking a mutually agreeable solution.

Do you want to know more about collaborative family lawyers, or do you have any questions about separation or divorce?  Please, drop us an e-mail You can follow us on Twitter @helpwithdivorce

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Ms Blacklaws’ appointment came about after the troubled organisation set up a family law practice when it was decreed that businesses, including banks and supermarkets, could be licensed to offer legal services.

I have always had my doubts about this and whilst Ms Blacklaws remains tight-lipped about her reasons for leaving the service she spearheaded, how likely is it that anyone will seriously look to ‘purchase’ a divorce while doing the weekly shop?

The legal shake-up that heralded the Co-op’s family law service – and ironically dubbed the Tesco law – adopted an IT conveyor belt approach with the size and sheer volume of cases keeping prices down.

A cheap divorce can seem tempting – particularly as many families throughout the UK have had to tighten their belts and cut costs.  However, as the old adage goes, “you get what you pay for”.

The pile them high, sell them cheap approach may work for baked beans, but can it really be the answer for couples who find that their marriage has fallen apart? Complex financial issues, disagreements about where children will live and pension arrangements will all require a more tailored and measured solution.

Our own clients come to us because they want a bespoke service and to talk to an expert who will listen and offer solutions that work for their particular situation.  A solicitor who is a member of Resolution, the organisation for family lawyers committed to non-confrontational approaches to divorce, is very much alive to the needs of an individual client – not taking a ‘one size fits all approach’.

And new legislation coming into force on April 22 will add a new layer of complexity to divorce as it brings sweeping changes to the family law system.  As experienced family lawyers we are examining the finer details of the new bill and the implications for couples embarking on separation and divorce.

We have written several blogs about the Children and Families Act. Among the changes to the law is the creation of one single family court, Child Arrangement Orders to replace residency and contact orders and the introduction of compulsory Mediation Information Assessment Meetings (MIAMs).

With the demise of legal aid for most family law matters, we know how important it is for people to keep down the cost of divorce – and an ‘off the shelf’ option may seem tempting.  However, any good family lawyer will work with the client to manage costs and direct him or her to the most appropriate divorce option – whether mediation, collaboration, arbitration or simply good old-fashioned negotiation.

If you have any questions about the Children’s and Families Bill please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail.

You can follow us on Twitter @helpwithdivorce

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The findings of a four year Law Commission review of how English couples’ finances should be sorted out – will be unveiled shortly.

The Law Commission’s report will cover whether or not pre-nuptial agreements should become law, and this has been the main focus of the UK media to date. However, the report on Matrimonial Property, Needs and Agreement which will be published on February 27, is actually much more wide-reaching.

As a dual qualified family law specialist in English and Scots law I particularly welcome this review as it represents an opportunity to look at how out of kilter English family law has become in comparison with its Scottish and European cousins.

As well as examining how marital property agreements can be enforced, the report will also look at how much financial support one spouse or civil partner should give to the other following divorce or dissolution.

Among the aspects under review is “non-matrimonial property”.  This could include property that has been inherited or given as a gift or assets acquired by either party before marriage or civil partnership.

Key areas that could face reform include:

• The demise of long term maintenance for ex-spouses
• Ring-fencing assets brought into the marriage by one or both parties
• Ring-fencing inherited wealth
• Pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements becoming legally binding

All of these are principles which are long-established north of the border.

Under Scottish divorce law, there is greater certainty – but potentially less discretion. For instance, the property available for division is narrowly defined. This “matrimonial property” is valued at the date of separation. It will include anything acquired during the lifetime of the marriage but exclude any inheritance or gift which has not been converted into matrimonial property. In England and Wales judges tend to focus on ensuring that both partners are adequately provided for – regardless of how the assets were acquired.

Other principles used to divide assets under Scots law are:

• Matrimonial property being shared equally – since the starting point is that fair sharing is equal sharing
• Financial support being paid for a maximum of 3 years – encouraging the receiving spouse to maximise his or her earning capacity after a period of adjustment
• Support being made available to prevent a spouse suffering financial hardship as a result of the divorce

In Scotland couples can also agree to a binding financial settlement between themselves without the need for a court to be involved, whereas, in England and Wales, unless a judge reviews such an agreement, there is a risk of it being unpicked at a later stage.

Whilst there are undoubtedly arguments in favour of both systems, I will be interested to see whether the English approach starts to take on a tartan hue in the light of the report. I will be still more interested to see whether the report’s recommendations will be taken on board by Justice Secretary Chris Grayling, rather than simply generating debate.

If you have any questions or concerns about dividing marital assets, please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail.

You can follow us on Twitter @helpwithdivorce

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First we had DIY online divorces, now I read this week that couples are being offered online DIY pre-nuptial arrangements for just £25!

As readers of this blog will know, at Jones Myers we actively encourage couples to consider drawing up a pre-nup or pre-cip before they marry or enter into a civil partnership.

We engage couples in frank and open discussions so that they can agree in advance what should happen to their finances if their relationship breaks down.  With 42 percent of marriages in England and Wales ending in divorce, these arrangements are increasingly a sensible option and may help resolve future conflict should a couple break up.

However, alarm bells should ring at the notion of a ‘one of size’ fits all online service that could leave both partners vulnerable if their marriage or partnership crumbles. Yes, £25 is cheap, but in the long run this DIY pre-nup could be a very expensive option.

Under English and Welsh law pre-marriage arrangements are not actually legally binding, however the courts now try to give effect to the couple’s wishes.

A judge will consider how the agreement was drawn up – checking that both partners had impartial, expert legal advice and ensuring that no-one was coerced into signing. Issues such as a change in circumstances since the pre-nup was drawn up could affect how courts view the validity of the agreement.

My fear is that courts may well throw out these DIY pre-nups that take just 20 minutes to complete and are undertaken without any independent legal advice.

Pre-nups are increasingly popular to help safeguard finances and assets built up before a marriage or civil partnership, or to protect future inheritances. Couples marrying for a second time may find a pre-nup particularly useful where there are children from a first marriage. DIY pre-nups would not work for such complex situations and – even worse – could be worthless.

I am a big fan of these arrangements. They are ideal to help couples agree solutions to sensitive issues before problems arise and can help to avoid confrontation and substantial litigation costs in the future.

However, I would urge couples to talk to an expert family lawyer before embarking on a pre-marriage agreement.  Like any DIY task, a cheap-fix online pre-nup, could be a costly botched job.

What are your views on online DIY pre-nups?  You can comment below or on Twitter @helpwithdivorce

If you would like to know more about pre-nups or pre-cips please call us on 0113 246 0055 or drop us an e-mail

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I have never been a believer in ‘D Day’ – a media invention, in my view – and what adds to the confusion this year is that no one seems to agree on the date. The Daily Mail says it’s today – ‘Divorce Friday’ – the first day legal firms are open after the seasonal break (actually, some of us have been working before today!). Parenting website Netmums , who has just launched a report on the true impact of divorce on children, says that it is Monday, January 6 – the day when schools reopen.  Others claim it was yesterday, January 2 – the first working day of 2014.

In my personal experience as a family lawyer in Yorkshire for the last 25 years, couples do not hang on until after Christmas to then flee the nest as the last strains of Auld Lang Syne are ringing in their ears.  To suggest there is a queue of clients on the telephone or standing outside lawyers’ offices is, I think, a complete nonsense.

Yes, the festive season can put extra strains on already fragile relationships; however most couples who reach the decision to separate do not take it lightly and may have been contemplating it for some time.  If children are involved, many parents will want to orchestrate the final separation in January when the security and routine of school returns. Couples without children will often separate before Christmas.

The decision to divorce is too personal, significant and a defining moment in most peoples’ lives to simply be a ‘calendar’ event.

For more information on how we can help, please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail.

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