Ensuring the well-being of children and young people caught up in relationship breakdowns is always of paramount importance.

This is why Jones Myers urges our clients to always put their children’s best interests first.  

With the Covid-19 pandemic presenting additional challenges and restrictions over the holiday period, below are vital services for children, their parents and the vulnerable at this particularly difficult and emotionally charged time of year.   

Childline

Childline is expecting thousands of children to turn to them for help this Christmas. The national support resource helps anyone under 19 in the UK to talk about any issue they are going through with trained counsellors. Call 0800 1111 (Freephone) every day between 7.30am and 3.30am.

Young Minds

A UK charity supporting the mental health of children and young people. For young people requiring support or for parents or carers worried about their children visit  Contact Us (youngminds.org.uk)

NHS Helpline

Call 111 if you have a problem and are unsure of what to do. The line is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.   

Emergency Services 

Call 112 for all emergency services – police, ambulance fire and rescue.

Supportline  

SupportLine is aimed at those who are isolated, at risk, vulnerable and victims of any form of abuse.

Contact the helpline on 01708 765200 or email info@supportine.org.uk  

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline

This service is available round the clock for those experiencing domestic abuse. Call 0808 2000 247.

Refuge

Refuge offers a freephone 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or visit www.nationalhelpline.org.uk  to access live chat Monday-Friday 3pm-1pm.

Refuge also provides guidance on how to secure technology against hacking and tracking – visit  https://www.refuge.org.uk/our-work/forms-of-violence-and-abuse/tech-abuse-2/resources/

National Men’s Advice Line

The helpline for male victims of domestic abuse provides telephone and email support Monday-Friday 9am-8pm. Webchats are also available Wednesday – Fridayfrom 10am-11am and 3pm-4pm. Call  0808 801 0327.

Jones Myers empathises with the additional stress and trauma associated with the holiday period and is continuing to provide urgent advice and support to existing and potential clients.

This includes offering face-to-face meetings – in line with government guidance – and ensuring effective social distancing protocols – in circumstances that cannot be dealt with remotely.

Our offices in Leeds, Harrogate and York are remaining open throughout the national lockdown – and beyond – should it be extended.     

With courts only open for urgent cases, our remote working capabilities also see us conduct court hearings and confidential consultations so our clients’ cases can be heard and processed effectively and in timely manner.

Call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104 and York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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As the new Children and Families’ Act  brings a plethora of changes to encourage couples to take a more collaborative approach to divorce, there is disturbing evidence from both the UK and USA on the long term impact of marriage breakups on the mental wellbeing of children.

In an article published during the recent Mental Health Awareness Week, the Children and Family Court Advisory Service (CAFCASS) shows that children’s mental health is a factor in many of the cases they deal with in family courts – often as a result of parental acrimony.

Witnessing parents’ fights and disputes can leave children emotionally bruised – particularly if they are forced into inappropriate roles such as acting as a go between or being a sounding board for one parent’s grievances against the other. And the effects can last way beyond childhood.  A recent study in the USA conducted by Columbia University suggests that the mental health effects of divorce can linger, even putting adult children of divorced parents at a greater risk of suicide.

In the UK, one in 10 children aged between five and 16 has a clinically diagnosed mental health problem. The Commons’ Health Committee is taking the matter very seriously, to the extent that it has now launched an inquiry into children’s mental health.

The impact of separation and divorce on children is similarly highlighted by Childline, which has seen a 122% rise in the number of children contacting them about their parents’ separation or divorce.

We have written extensively on the Jones Myers blog about the impact of divorce on children, including a powerful and personal account from a young woman involved with charity Kids in the Middle and some sound advice from Relate, who offer a support service for separating parents.

I sincerely hope that new Child Arrangement Orders, designed to encourage parents to take joint responsibility for their children, will also support parents to be more collaborative about where their offspring live and how often they see mum and dad. Reaching an amicable agreement about what is best for children will need patience, understanding and a degree of compromise – with both parents placing their children’s physical and mental wellbeing at the heart of all negotiations.

Here are some helpful tips on how to support children through a divorce:

• Don’t let your children witness your anger or negative feelings towards your ex.  They are entitled to love both of you so, grit your teeth, be polite and courteous when dealing with the other parent in front of your children
• Children are good actors and may hide how they feel so encourage them to talk and help about their pain and feelings. There are some excellent books to help children come to terms with this difficult time, including ‘Jack’ by family solicitor Helen Victoria Bishop
• Be clear, concise and honest when you talk to your children about the impending divorce  – don’t try to ‘dress it up’ and confuse the messages you are giving them
• Talk to your ex about what you each want and what you both feel is in the best interests of your children.  If you can’t agree then do seek outside help – your family lawyer can help you to find a counsellor or therapist
• Reassure children about practical arrangements – they will be concerned about where they will live, if they can stay at the same school, still see grandparents, friends and even their favourite pets
• Remind children frequently about how much you love them.

If you have any concerns or questions about the impact of separation or divorce on children please call us on 0113 246 0055, leave us a comment below or drop us an e-mail. You can also follow us on Twitter: @helpwithdivorce.

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