By Peter Jones, founder

I was delighted but not surprised to read that grandparents believe their well-being and mental health is boosted after spending time with their grandchildren.

A study commissioned by Parkdean Resorts in conjunction with biogerontologist Dr James Brown highlights how grandparents who interact and play with their grandchildren experience improved moods, memory, physical well-being and less loneliness – all of which can be conducive to a happier and healthier life.These unique and very special relationships also bring a wealth of benefits for grandchildren – particularly in situations where their parents separate or divorce.

As a niche family law firm we acknowledge and applaud the formative role that nanas and granddads play in their grandchildren’s lives as carers and role models.

The pressures of parents juggling work and family life see grandparents taking on increased responsibilities in childcare, babysitting and coming to the rescue if children are ill.

Their relationships with their grandchildren are usually more relaxed. They are nurtured and developed in an environment where youngsters can have ‘down time’ away from the stress of their parents relationship problems.

If situations escalate – leading to mums and dads separating or divorcing – grandparents’ homes represent an oasis and bedrock of stability where they can open up about their feelings.
Providing a vital sense of normality, grandparents go a long way to keep grandchildren’s daily routines, particularly in the early days of divorce, as well as supporting their own children practically and emotionally.

It is important that they remain in close contact with their son/daughter and with their ex-daughter-in-law/son-in-law to ensure the children’s interests always come first.

While grandparents will understandably want to give their grandchildren time and space to share their emotions about their parent’s break up, they are advised to avoid criticising the parents.
In spite of the complexities and practicalities over visiting and planning which arise from divorce and separation, we always recommend that grandparents remain focused on their special relationship with their grandchildren.

This includes reassuring them how their parents break up is not their fault – and how much they are loved by their parents and their grandparents.

Getting this right will go a long way to help children’s stability and development in their formative years ahead.

For more information about grandchildren, divorce or family law issues, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

The post Treasured forever: the relationships between grandparents and grandchildren appeared first on Jones Myers.

Our partnership with IDAS (Independent Domestic Abuse Services) to host a pioneering art installation highlighting domestic abuse against women is raising awareness and boosting fundraising.

The ‘In Her Shoes’ display – featuring 100 pair of shoes to symbolically represent the 100 plus women killed every year in the UK by their current or ex-partners – has been viewed by hundreds of people across Yorkshire.Launched at York Minster, the installation has toured Northallerton, Skipton and the Jones Myers Harrogate office at Windsor House where IDAS and our team raised money with a scrumptious selection of home-made cakes. The baking went down a treat with fellow businesses and almost £250 was collected from cake sales and donations.

There are plans to further extend the exhibition, created by visual artist Mim Robson, to more regional towns and cities. The centrepiece comprises a poem by poet Hannah Davies which has been inspired by the words of domestic abuse and sexual violence survivors.

Jones Myers founder Peter Jones says: “It’s extremely positive that this powerful tribute is attracting interest and generating questions from so many people who view the display. The devastating effects of domestic abuse on victims are something we witness at first hand as a specialist family law firm and we’re delighted the exhibition will be seen by even more people.”

Rose Merritt, IDAS business development manager, adds: “The installation is timely following a recent announcement that domestic abuse offences have increased in North Yorkshire across the last year. Many people viewing it say they did not realise the disturbing scale of the issue. A ‘big’ thank you to Hannah Davies, Mim Robson and our sponsors, Jones Myers, for their ongoing support of this moving tribute.”

IDAS is the largest specialist charity in Yorkshire whose services include refuge accommodation, community-based support, peer mentoring, group work and access to a free, confidential out-of-hours helpline.

The charity has been at the forefront of developing new services such as being the first organisation in the UK to develop a free online Live Chat support for survivors. For more information on IDAS visit idas.org.uk.

For information about any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce.

Pictured are Jones Myers partner, Sarah Dickinson, founder Peter Jones, and Rose Merritt (kneeling) from IDAS.

The post Powerful tribute to domestic abuse victims boosts awareness and fundraising appeared first on Jones Myers.

When the fun and flurry of preparations for students starting university or college has finished, life’s next chapter also begins for their parents.

For many ‘empty nesters’, this milestone marks the beginning of their lives without children in the house. It can also bring to the surface long suppressed irritations and tensions that have bubbled under the surface, but whose impact may have been lessened by the demands of children and busy lives.Two decades of hectic work and child care schedules can result in parents losing touch with each other and becoming different people to the couple who tied the knot.

In today’s climate of longer life expectancies and greater financial independence, the empty nest syndrome is a key factor to wives and husbands splitting up rather than spending the next three two or even decades together.

Before becoming another ‘grey divorce’ and empty nester statistic, consider the following steps:

Express your feelings

Communicating honestly and openly and sharing and expressing your feelings and concerns is vital. Long-standing relationships deserve time, careful consideration and discussion. Go for a long walk in the country or to the seaside: it is the ideal setting for an exploratory conversation or to clear the air, as it is very difficult to go any distance without talking.

Reconnect

Being free of parenting responsibilities can be a great opportunity for couples to take up new interests or return to fun hobbies they enjoyed in their pre-children days. Having more time to focus on each other will rekindle rapport and affection. Marriage is a partnership – go back to being on the same team.

 Create a life plan

People running or involved in business would not dream of operating without a plan. Preparing your future together also requires a well thought through plan which includes finances and key goals and aspirations such as moving house, hobbies and holidays. This focus is key to help you maximize your pre-retirement and retirement years and devising it before the children move away will help the transition.

Keep communicating

There is no substitute for ongoing dialogue and communication. If your marriage is in a rut – get out of it. Set up a weekly ‘date night’ and share and discuss your exciting plans for your golden years and adventures.

Until you are actually without somebody you have shared most of your life with, you cannot know how much you will miss them. If your marriage is worth saving you will find solutions to your problems.

For information about divorce and finances, family or children law or Contentious Trusts and Estates, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

The post How empty nesters can avoid becoming another divorce statistic appeared first on Jones Myers.

It is very rare that the person instigating the break up, or the partner who is being left, are prepared for the collapse of the marriage.

Embarking on a life-changing path can seem daunting, but our specialist family lawyers at Jones Myers can support and guide clients on that difficult journey. The steps below will help you to start and manage the divorce process:

Check you can apply for a divorce  

You must be married for over a year before starting divorce proceedings. Your marriage must be recognised by UK law and, in most instances, you or your partner will  be living in England or Wales when making an application. You will also need to produce your marriage certificate.

Establish your grounds for divorce

In England and Wales there is only one ground for divorce – the irretrievable breakdown of your marriage. You must show one of these five facts exist for divorce:

• Adultery
• Unreasonable behaviour – a common ground for a speedy divorce which can be based on mild allegations such as one party being a workaholic
• Desertion
• Two years’ separation – if both parties agree to the divorce, this is the easiest way to divorce
• Five year’s separation – applicable even if your ex doesn’t agree to the divorce

Seek early professional advice

 Enlist professional support, sound advice and practical help from family law experts like Jones Myers who can help you with all aspects of divorce and separation including finances and children. Having the correct information early on can help you make informed decisions and avoid costly mistakes later. Knowing what to expect will also settle many preconceived anxieties.

Avoid inflaming the situation

Don’t be tempted to start moving money out of a bank account or change locks on your family home. It may be the main asset and central to any financial settlement. If possible, it is better if one of you can move out to help avoid confrontation and stress. This move does not mean that your or your ex will lose your share in the home.

Telling your children

Parents often find this to be the hardest aspect of splitting up. Don’t leave it too late and, if possible, break the news together after planning your approach and what you will say. Don’t blame each other – aim to be consistent in what you say and reassure them that they are loved.

For more information about the divorce process or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

The post Our divorce is inevitable – what are the first steps I need to take? appeared first on Jones Myers.

New research confirms that as the number of divorces among the over 55s continues to soar, women in their 50s and 60s lack the confidence to manage their finances following a break-up.

This concern over money management reinforces the findings of a Chartered Insurance Institute study, which stressed how divorce and separation pose a substantial financial risk to women whose former husbands took care of the family finances.

The report outlined how a divorced woman’s pension wealth is less than a third of that of an average divorced man.

The findings also revealed that women in this situation are likely to have more caring responsibilities and to suffer mental health problems.

Divorced women in their 50s and 60s are at an age when major decisions often have to be made on key issues including pensions, investments, property disposal, care planning and inheritance. Understandably, they cannot afford to make the wrong choices.

At Jones Myers, helping vulnerable ex-wives with their newfound responsibilities has always been a priority. We begin by explaining the full range of financial solutions available – in a way that is readily understood by all involved.

In addition to the support we can provide, we work closely with a group of well-respected independent financial advisors.

While family, friends and online resources can often provide good advice, the reassurance of talking face-to-face to an accredited personal finance expert with a strong track record cannot be overstated.

Together, as a team, we can find a resolution to give security and financial confidence for the future.

For more information about financial issues post- divorce or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

The post Managing money post-divorce – how we help vulnerable wives to move forward appeared first on Jones Myers.

Angela Jolie’s announcement that she and her ex, Brad Pitt, are committed to putting the family first post-divorce resonates deeply with Jones Myers’ ethos of always focusing on children’s best interests.

Praising her former husband as a ‘wonderful father’, the high-profile actress emphasises how their children’s health and wellbeing will remain a top priority because; “We will always be a family, always.”

This spirit of compromise and cooperation where separated and divorced couples avoid criticising each other in front of their offspring – and genuinely strive for what will make their children happiest – is vital to harmonious and healthy family relationships and domestic arrangements.

At Jones Myers our dedicated Children Department is made up of some of the most experienced professionals balancing the needs of children and their parents in wide-ranging issues.

As collaborative family lawyers we advise parents to reach a settlement, wherever possible, by avoiding protracted, expensive and stressful court confrontations.

In the knowledge that parents know their children best, we carefully consider the effects of their break-up on them, and, together, devise the most suitable living arrangements. Agreements reached in this way are more likely to work in the long-term and be respected by the wider family.

Our team is headed by Kate Banerjee – who is consistently praised as a ‘leading individual’ by Chambers UK and Legal 500 – and has amassed extensive expertise in international child abduction cases.

A Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit, Kate has “Higher Court Rights,” which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service. A specialist in child protection law, Kate is also a Member of the Child Care Panel with experience representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Our Children Department specialises in residence and contact disputes, care proceedings, international child abduction, adoption, special guardianship, relocation and public law cases, attracting complex and varied casework in the UK and overseas

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on children and divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

The post For the children: keeping the focus on family post-divorce appeared first on Jones Myers.

The highly publicised case of Tini Owens – who has asked the Court of Appeal to overturn a family court ruling which said she couldn’t divorce her husband – reinforces the need for the government to introduce no fault divorce.

Despite making 27 allegations about the way her husband Hugh Owens, 78, treated her, 66 year old Mrs Owens, who was ‘desperately unhappy’ in her relationship, was told her claims were “of the kind to be expected in marriage” and was refused a divorce petition.

While three appeal judges, led by Sir James Munby, the most senior family court judge in England and Wales are yet to announce a decision after analysing the case, it nevertheless highlights the inherent problems with our current fault-based divorce system.

The chances are that, if Mr Owens had not contested the divorce, Mrs Owens would have been granted a divorce by a judge.

This is because under current divorce law, unless couples have been living apart for two years, one of them needs to apportion some form of blame – adultery or unreasonable behaviour – which can create conflict and makes reaching a mutually acceptable agreement much more difficult.

The introduction of no fault divorces – a legal separation that is granted by the courts without one person saying anything bad about the other – would make it easier for people to make their separation more harmonious and avoid court disputes.

Jones Myers founder, Peter Jones, has played a leading role in a campaign organised by Resolution – a national family law group which promotes non-confrontational solutions in family law – which saw MPs acknowledge that changes in family law are overdue.

Says Peter, who is a former chair of Resolution and one of the UK’s first qualified arbitrators: “It is correct to say that a percentage of divorces should be rejected but the standard of allegations of unreasonable behaviour has eroded over the years. The general view is that “if they both want it – why should a court stand in their way”.

“There surely has to be a better way via no fault divorce which allows couples to work together to manage their separation without long, drawn out, stressful court disputes.”

The case of Mrs Owens coincided with the news that the government has rejected widespread calls to reform divorce laws and has no immediate plans to change the existing fault based system.

Despite the announcement, Peter Jones is continuing to work with Resolution and lobby MPs to introduce no fault divorce.

Jones Myers highly experienced team of family lawyers can assist with the issues highlighted in the no fault divorce campaign along with all matters related to divorce and separation. You can contact the team on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

The post Why the Tini Owens Appeal Court case adds fuel to ‘no-fault’ divorce campaign appeared first on Jones Myers.

The countdown to half-term holidays can spark the onset of headaches for many divorced and separated parents.

The perennial argument over who gets the children – and when – can be further exacerbated by work patterns and domestic arrangements.

Common issues include full time working fathers being unable to arrange days off when colleagues are also requesting leave – sparking mothers’ concerns that their children will be put in Kids’ Clubs or left with a new partner.

Similarly, a parent who works from home or does not work is better placed to justify having the children than their commuting ex.

With increasing family and work demands putting leisure time at a premium, rifts and tensions result in some couples ending up back in court. Here are some tips to reduce the emotional strain of half term.

1. Set objectives: just as in the wider context of separation and divorce, start with seeking to achieve what is best for the children, despite your feelings or grievances. Genuinely strive for what will make them happiest, don’t criticise your ex in front of them – and avoid asking them directly or indirectly to take sides.

2. Be flexible: accept that children will want to see as much of both their parents, their grandparents, wider family and their friends as possible. It falls to both parents to try to achieve this – and if it means that you end up spending less time with your children this half-term, discuss it reasonably with your ex to make up for it in the next one.

3. Communicate regularly: talk to each other and plan ahead – giving you time to agree on and organise logistics, such as travel, seeing wider family and grandparents’ access.

4. Keep the children updated on what’s happening: they like certainty and security so let them know as far in advance as possible about half-term arrangements. This will help them adjust to the unexpected and, hopefully, present a scenario they can look forward to.

If you really can’t reach agreement with your ex, mediation is a far less stressful, more cost-effective option than a return to court. Jones Myers’ highly trained Children Department lawyers always advise parents to avoid court battles and can guide you on how best to resolve disputes.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on representing yourself in court or any other divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

The post A Four-step formula to reduce half-term friction appeared first on Jones Myers.

The New Year is a symbolic time for most people – one of new beginnings, hopes and aspirations for the future.

Understandably, the holiday period may have left those recently divorced feeling fragile and exhausted – making it more difficult to plan ahead with any degree of enthusiasm or certainty.

If you are in this situation, looking after your physical and mental wellbeing is vital to help you feel re-energised and refocused. There has never been a better time to set in place some simple resolutions to boost your quality of life – and help you to move forward with confidence and purpose.

Eat well: A healthy diet provides the nutrients needed for energy, healthy metabolic rate and a robust immune system – all of which will be essential if you are to create a ‘New Year and a New You’. It is often an effort to shop and cook but the rewards are well worth it.

Sleep: Without enough sleep our immune systems are weakened, we don’t perform well and can become ill. Ensure that you get seven or eight hours a night and aim for quality sleep by not working on IT devices immediately beforehand. Remember an hour before midnight is worth two afterwards. Sleeping in never helped anyone as you feel sluggish and unfocused.

Manage alcohol intake: It’s a known fact that over-indulging in alcohol will exacerbate – not alleviate – a bad situation, so manage your intake sensibly and stick to moderate social drinking with friends.

Social life: Having a social life stimulates conversations and gives you positive vibes. Don’t cut yourself off from family and friends, as not only will interacting with them make you feel better, they can provide support, empathy and practical advice to plan ahead.

Exercise and activity: Often the last thing people want to do when they are down is exercise, yet the endorphins it releases provide a great mental lift. Just a daily half hour walk can do wonders for your outlook and sense of positivity. Sometimes just getting out and about is enough; it is not always necessary to exhaust yourself at the gym.

Indulge yourself: A little treat or doing something you enjoy can make you much happier. If you’re happier you will feel better and if you feel better, you will be far more inclined to have the positive outlook needed to make firm plans for the future.

Imagining and achieving a positive, productive and happy future is difficult if your health is not in good shape. Looking after yourself is a vital step towards your new life in 2017 and beyond.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

The post How To Plan For a ‘New Year, New You’ Post-Divorce appeared first on Jones Myers.

In our vast experience many divorcees bitterly regret splitting from their partner and wish they had taken more time to think things through before making one of the most momentous and traumatic decisions of their lives.

Anger and a desire for revenge are outweighed by common misgivings of sadness and a fear for the future – and there is often a feeling that “Once the train has departed there is nothing that can be done to slow it down or bring it to a halt”.

Many clients who approach us about divorce regret “not seeing it coming” and reveal they have missed signs such as less meaningful conversation, fewer shared interests, less time spent together and more time spent at work along with reduced intimacy and ‘growing apart.’

Our ethos at Jones Myers is to always give our clients space to consider the ramifications of their divorce and, depending upon their situation, encourage them to think about the impact of a split on their children, their spouse – and their health.

Think carefully about why you want a divorce

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your decision based on emotional or logic?
• Do you still love your partner?
• What are the downsides of divorce? – Especially for any children whose interests should always be put first. (We’ve previously written about the long-term distress that divorce can have on children).

Speak with a trusted third party

Have a frank conversation with a close relative or a friend before rushing to set the divorce wheels in motion. This enables you to step back and get some perspective on the situation

Can you save your marriage? 

A marriage that has got into a rut, or where one party wrongly believes their spouse has gone off them or is having an affair, can be put back on track by having a heart-to–heart with your partner and rekindling common interests. Many people who regret being divorced miss the companionship and intimacy they shared with their partners.

Where someone has been unfaithful or people truly are sick of the sight of each other, the situation may be harder to repair. Nevertheless, if you both agree there is hope, work with third parties to help retrieve the marriage. This could involve the support and guidance of a counsellor, friends or family.

What are the financial consequences?

Think about the financial fall out of a divorce. Where will you live, how will your domestic arrangements work for your children – will your financial situation change dramatically?

Details of all healthcare, insurance, death and any other benefits that may be lost by virtue of the divorce should also be collated and understood before the divorce is completed, as they might have to be factored into any settlement or replaced. An Independent Financial Adviser may be enlisted to explain and advise on these issues.

Signing your divorce papers constitutes a monumental, life-changing decision – so don’t be impulsive; do ensure you are 100 percent certain that divorce is the way forward to avoid years of looking backwards with deep-rooted regrets.

To discuss the consequences and options available to you, the advice and assistance of a good firm of good family lawyers is essential. You can contact the Jones Myers team on 0113 246 0055.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on wider divorce related issues, leave a comment below or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

The post What if?… How to prevent long-lasting divorce regrets appeared first on Jones Myers.