By Nicki Mitchell – Family Lawyer, Family Law Mediator and Collaborative Family Lawyer

The approach of Freshers’ Week at universities throughout the UK can set off wide-ranging emotions – and thoughts of divorce.   

While students are apprehensive and excited about leaving the family home, many parents who are experiencing a profound sense of loss start to question their relationship – and their future.   

Divorce figures overall are declining  but those among the over 50’s continue to rocket. The reasons vary from couple to couple. Some  couples know their relationship is over but stay together until the children have flown the nest. Others reconnect with old flames and many realise when the children are gone that their relationship has run its course and they want more from life. I share some insights below:  

Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?

Until you start living without the person you have shared over half your life with, you cannot know how much you will miss them. 

Before rushing to make seismic life changes you may later regret, communicate honestly and openly with your spouse and establish if you still want the same life goals.

A marriage in a rut can be worth salvaging and, If you are both on the same page, consider working with third parties like counsellors to get it back on track.  

Consider The Consequences Of Divorce

New living arrangements –divorce means finding a way to make the finances which have supported one household work for two.  It can often mean downsizing from a large house and garden, taking on a new or higher mortgage and possibly paying or being dependent on maintenance.

The Cost of Divorce canbe substantially higher for mature couples, many of whom have more assets, complicated savings, and property portfolios – often abroad. 

Specialist pensions advice will be needed to ensure a fair division of retirement income, including pension lump sums  Older couples often have financial plans for this stage in their life but have to rethink those plans when they separate.  Good financial advice is key to ensuring those assets are restructured fairly and how the children’s university costs will be funded .   

The Impact On Your Children -How will your children, and grandchildren, react – and how will divorce impact on how often you see them? Older children may better understand the reasons but can be more likely to take sides.

The loyalties of friends and wider family may be split, substantially reducing your support network. Also consider how the emotional cost of the break up will affect you.

When Staying Together Is Not An Option  

If there is no way forward, consider non-confrontational options to divorce, which avoid a lengthy, costly, and stressful court route, and put children’s best interests first.

Mediation –a means of resolving family disputes constructively, enabling you to keep  control over decisions which will affect the future of you and your family.

This private and confidential process takes place in an impartial environment and involves a mediator like me, an independent third party who helps you and your ex to reach an agreement over key areas. Many mediators, like myself, are lawyers and can provide extremely useful information about the law to inform your decisions.

Collaborative Family Law – you and your ex each appoint your own collaboratively trained lawyer. In a series of confidential meetings, you all work together to identify, address and resolve financial, parenting and other key issues.

Collaborative family lawyers  provide support and legal advice throughout the sessions. Accountants, independent financial advisers, pensions advisers and/or childcare specialists can also attend and provide guidance on a neutral basis.   

If court is the only way forward, I recommend securing the best possible legal advice from highly experienced family law professionals like Jones Myers. Our bespoke, innovative and problem-solving approach ensures we always seek the best solution for your individual situation.   

For queries on divorce/family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), 202550 (York). Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 5th among the UK’s Best 20 Family Law Blogs to follow in 2026

Image by Skullman at Pixabay 

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By Jones Myers Partner, Nicki Nitchell, a Family Law Mediator and Collaborative Family Lawyer

As an experienced Family Law Mediator and Collaborative Family Lawyer with extensive expertise in litigation, I understand the challenges facing separating couples in finding the right way to divorce for their individual circumstances.

The trepidation of a prolonged, costly, and stressful court divorce is prompting an increasing number of  couples to seek out routes such as mediation and collaborative family law which avoid going to court.

Another option is arbitration where separating couples hire a ‘private judge’ to accelerate the outcome of their financial settlements.

These processes were previously known as Alternative Dispute Resolution – because they provide alternatives to litigating in court. The language has now changed to refer to Dispute Resolution, the hope being that they will become the first choice and court the last resort.  I am not convinced that this is where we are now but what is clear is that these options are often better choices than court as they promote a spirit of collaboration for spouses and parents to achieve the best  future for their family, with the children’s best interests in mind.  

Over the coming weeks I will explain more about these  options and their advantages and disadvantages to help you to decide which is best for your unique situation. Our first article focuses on mediation.    

What is mediation? 

Mediation is a means of resolving family disputes constructively. It enables you to keep  control over  decisions which will  affect the future of you and your family.  In the court process you potentially hand those decisions over to a judge, who does not know you or your family and knows nothing about what is important to you. Mediation is appropriate for most situations including the most financially complex.

Who is involved in mediation?

The private and confidential process takes place in a safe, impartial environment and involves a mediator like me, an independent third party who helps you and your ex to reach an agreement over key areas.  At the outset both of you sign an Agreement to Mediate so negotiations can continue on a ‘without prejudice’ basis.

The number of discussions/sessions varies for each couple depending upon the complexity of the split. As a facilitator, the mediator assists, guides, and helps you to move dialogue forward.  

Many mediators, myself included, are lawyers and can provide extremely useful information about the law to inform your decisions.

Whether or not they are legally qualified, mediators will recommend that you each  retain  your own solicitor who can provide specific legal advice where required during the process.

What does success in mediation look like?

A successful outcome in mediation can mean many things.  Many couples choose the mediation process to get to an agreement which is formalised in a binding Court Order.

Often called a Final Order, this is a legal document which officially terminates your marriage without you having to go to court.  However, mediation has many other advantages, including developing a new way of communicating as separated parents.

Is mediation compulsory?

No. Mediation is a voluntary process. You may have read about a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) meeting, usually relating to cases involving finances or children, which all divorcing couples are expected to attend before court proceedings are issued.

These meetings are designed to inform  you both about alternative resolution schemes and to establish if the circumstances are suitable for mediation.

What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Mediation can result in a swifter resolution, reducing legal expenses which mount up in prolonged court cases between warring couples. Highly confidential, it is a more impartial and considered approach and can lessen the emotional impact of separation and divorce on children.

What happens if mediation fails?

Due to its voluntary nature, talks can be concluded at any time if headway is not made. However, there are many ways in which the process can be adapted to get over sticky issues and avoid failure. 

There is an increasing trend towards lawyers being present in mediation sessions to provide technical advice and support during the process, in particular where there are difficult dynamics and/or complex legal issues. 

Alternatively, disputed legal points can be determined by bringing in a neutral lawyer to give a view or even an arbitrator to give a binding decision on a particular issue. All of this can be done in the context of mediation.

Jones Myers specialist family lawyers are at the forefront of non-confrontational routes to divorce such as mediation and collaborative family practice.

For queries on mediation, divorce or family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), (York) 01904 202550, Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 5^th among the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2025.

Image by Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash. This article first appeared in The Divorce Magazine 

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Many people facing divorce who have relied on their spouses’ earnings – and do not have their own income streams – are understandably anxious about their future finances.  

Major income gaps between you and your ex may result in you receiving ongoing financial support, known as spousal maintenance, to prevent undue hardship.

This is particularly relevant when considering the well-being of any children who are caught up in the relationship breakdown – whose interests should always come first. 

What is spousal maintenance?

Spousal maintenance is a payment made to you by your ex as part of the financial settlement relating to your divorce.

Usually paid monthly, it can last for a defined period or, in increasingly rare cases, the rest of your life. As you do not have an income, you may be entitled to a maintenance claim to help manage your monthly outgoings. This is based on need and, in some cases, can be applied for as an emergency measure.  

How is the amount of spousal maintenance decided?

There is no set formula to calculate spousal maintenance. The sum and its duration can be settled through mutual agreement between you and your ex.

If you can’t agree, the Court can decide the amount to be paid and the length of time it will be paid. 

The first step is to establish whether there should be any spousal maintenance at all.

In every case the Court must consider the possibility of a clean break order – a financial order with no financial obligations between the two of you in the future.

This is also something which you will need to consider if you embark on alternatives to divorce which do not involve going to Court such as negotiation, mediation or collaborative family law.  

Only if a clean break is not appropriate immediately, can you move on to the next stage of determining the amount of spousal maintenance and its duration.

What happens if my situation changes?   

If your circumstances or those of you ex alter significantly after a spousal maintenance order has been made, either of you can apply to the Court to vary the terms of the order.

The Court will consider factors such as changes in income, employment status or financial needs to assess if a variation is appropriate.

Can my spousal maintenance be stopped?

Yes, your spousal maintenance will stop if you remarry or enter into a civil partnership or if either of you dies.

It will usually be paid for a period of time to enable you to adjust to financial independence or your financial needs are reduced, for example, when your children finish school or university, or leave home.

Is spousal maintenance the same as child maintenance?

No. Child maintenance is mandatory for both parents for children under sixteen and youngsters under twenty who are still in full time education. The amount payable is calculated in accordance with a set formula which is accessible online .  Most separated couples agree what should be paid using the calculator. If you are unable to agree then an application can be made to the Child Maintenance Service which then decides the amount.

For queries on spousal maintenance, child maintenance or any aspect of divorce and family law, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Anthony Parrish, Jones Myers Partner and Children Law specialist

I was disheartened but not surprised to hear how tens of thousands of children continue to be the victims of a crisis in the family court system.      

Data from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) reveals how   children who have been removed from their parents by the state have to wait almost four years to find out where they will live.

Prolonged hold ups in care proceedings and parental separation cases can have a major impact on the well-being of children whose interests should always come first.     

The effects include stress and anxiety over where their home will be, what school they will attend – and when they will finally see their parents.         

While a judicial call for all care proceedings to be completed within 26 weeks and streamlining the number of court hearings appears a positive step forward, the reality is different.

This is due to the level of unforeseen and unavoidable delays, in part arising from family members suddenly appearing out of nowhere in the late stages of proceedings and requiring assessments.  

Contributing factors also include Local Authority backlogs in completing assessments and securing approval for long term childcare placements, largely caused by a high turnover of social work staff.

Added to all this is professionals being given extensive timeframes to submit their reports.   

With CAFCASS currently responsible for almost 32,000 unresolved public law cases affecting over 52,000 individual children, what can be done to resolve the crisis?    

A start would be for courts to step up pressure on local authorities to complete cases in shorter time frames. However, I remain sceptical this would not produce real results due to the external factors highlighted above.

As a niche family law firm dealing with every aspect of public and private children law, we wholeheartedly back calls for Government intervention and investment to prevent so many children being unwittingly trapped in a system which is on the verge of a breakdown.

For queries on divorce or any aspect of children or family law, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers’ blog is ranked among the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2023       

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