News of the arrival of Meghan and Harry’s beautiful baby boy Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor – has brought happiness and joy to well wishers the world over.

Oblivious to his prestigious birthright as seventh in line to the throne, the most important factors in his first days, weeks, months and years will be waking up every day to a caring and nurturing environment with loving parents who dote on him.

Sadly not every relationship culminates in a fairy tale as many couples reach the painful decision that they are unable to live in harmony together with divorce or separation being the only option.Doing what’s best for their children is vital in such situations – irrespective of how young or old they are.

It is reported that babies as young as three months can be affected by negative vibes and parents who argue in front of their infant can cause them lasting damage. .

As a firm which encourages clients to always put their children’s best interests first we recommend that parents who split up have a Parenting Plan in place.

Separation and divorce disrupt daily patterns and a Parenting Plan can help ensure a degree of stability and continuity in a shared commitment to children’s wellbeing – without having to go to court.

The written plan helps estranged couples to work out practical decisions in areas including communication, living arrangements, money, religion, education and emotional well-being. Providing a valuable reference point, it helps everyone involved to know what is expected of them.

In cases where parents need to go to court because they are unable to agree on certain issues, a judge will expect them to have started a Parenting Plan.

Resolution, which promotes a non-confrontational approach to family problems, provides a downloadable progress summary plan for parents.

Helping them to record their plan and inform the family court judge what they have agreed and not agreed, it also enables parents to let the judge know areas where they need more help.

When children’s futures are at stake, we recommend choosing a family lawyer like  – a member of Resolution – when seeking legal advice,

Our dedicated and highly experienced Children Department balance children’s and parents needs in wide-ranging issues. Working closely with our clients, we devise the most suitable arrangements for children both now and in the formative years ahead.

For queries on children and divorce related issues, call our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Peter Jones, founder

In the adage that all good things come to those who wait, I welcome the news that ‘no fault’ divorce will finally become law – dispensing with the damaging ‘blame game’ which is detrimental to all involved.

We’ve previously shared our concerns on how the present fault based divorce system can result in acrimonious break ups – with antagonism very often continuing after the parties have separated and where one parent is living with a new partner.

Over the years we have witnessed how this friction impacts negatively on children who, trapped in the crossfire, often retreat into an artificial world to escape the stresses and strains.The long-term repercussions to children of all ages include poor education, health problems such as depression and concentration issues – all of which can result in long and short term damage and affect their future prospects. Behavioural issues are also common as children can become attention-seeking and demanding.

Under current legislation, unless couples have been living apart for a period of time one of them must apportion some form of blame, either adultery or unreasonable behaviour, which can in itself create conflict.

Thankfully the new law will remove the ability to contest a divorce and end the need to prove adultery, unreasonable behaviour or to live apart for five years before a divorce can be granted.

It is proposed that while the irretrievable breakdown of a marriage as the sole ground for divorce will remain, the need to provide evidence of a ‘fact’ around behaviour or separation will be replaced with a requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown.

Changing the system to remove acrimony and frustration enables couples to focus on vital factors such as creating financial security and ensuring the future happiness and wellbeing for their children is preserved in a harmonious – as opposed to a harmful – environment.

For more information about divorce and finances, children’s issues or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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An increased focus on loneliness has revealed that chronic loneliness can be a bigger health threat than obesity.

When relating to divorce it is not uncommon for people who feel isolated in a bad marriage or relationship to remain trapped there – because they are more afraid of being single and alone forever.

As a niche family law firm which adopts a holistic approach to assist the well-being of our clients, we understand that divorce and separation feel socially and emotionally cut off.

Staying in a loveless, unfulfilling relationship is the worst scenario – even when children are involved because you are subjecting them to your tensions and unhappiness. Putting their best interests first and adopting a spirit of cooperation to ensure their future wellbeing is the best course of action.

Looking after yourself is vital following separation and divorce – here are some steps to help keep your world on an even keel:

Get a Social life: Interacting with family and friends who can provide support, empathy and practical advice to plan ahead stimulates conversations and positive vibes.

Take a weekend break: Visit family and friends who live away. A change of scenery overnight or a drive to the coast and a long walk on a beach boosts well-being.

Exercise and activity: A daily half hour walk can do wonders for your outlook and sense of positivity. It is not always necessary to exhaust yourself at the gym.

Make new friends: Think about hobbies you enjoy but have maybe neglected. Join clubs or associations such as walking, cycling, sailing, photography, a choir, amateur dramatics, dancing.

Eat well: A healthy diet provides the nutrients needed for energy, healthy metabolic rate and a robust immune system. The rewards of shopping and cooking outweigh the effort involved.

Sleep: Get seven or eight hours a night quality sleep. An hour before midnight is worth two afterwards.

Manage alcohol intake: Over-indulging in alcohol will exacerbate, not alleviate, a bad situation, so stick to moderate social drinking.

While we recognise how difficult it can be to face the “brave new world” and find the energy and enthusiasm to rebuild your life, when you come out the other side you will reflect how investing in yourself was worth everything to achieve a better, brighter and more settled future.

For more information about the divorce process or any aspect of family or children law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Kate Banerjee, head of the Children Department

Reports that Angelina Jolie may lose her role as primary carer of her six children unless she improves her relationship with Brad Pitt reinforce how vital it is to get on with your ex.

It’s claimed that Angelina’s involvement in their sons and daughters lives could be substantially reduced if she tries to prevent her former husband from spending time with them.

In our experience children will be unsettled by any split and the importance of keeping divorce and its aftermath civilised – with co-operation, negotiation and rancour-free agreement – is paramount.

We will suggest support, such as counselling or family therapy, if we feel it will help families to cope with a marriage break and help children to retain healthy relationships with both mum and dad.

Here are four steps to keep children as happy, secure and untroubled as possible during challenging times:

Think of parenting as a business partnership

Be considerate to each other. You wouldn’t argue with a colleague in front of a client or criticise them publicly, so treat your ex with respect – regardless of whether you think they deserve it.  Make it easier on your children by showing a genuine interest in what they do during the time they spend with your former spouse.

Sign up to a joint plan

Compile and sign up to a joint parenting plan which includes the home and school environment you both want for your children. This will include visiting schedules and holidays for parents and grandparents, routines, bedtimes, homework, television and IT access.

Factor some flexibility into your plan to allow for your respective home and work commitments – and to ensure it evolves to accommodate your children’s needs as they grow.

Keep children updated

Children like certainty and security so tell them what’s happening at all times.

Let them know as far in advance as possible about visits and holidays so they can adjust to anything unexpected and look forward to calendar highlights such as birthdays and holidays.

Maintain constructive dialogue

Avoid using your children as messengers – constructive, direct dialogue between you and your ex keeps the spirit of co-operation alive.

It is vital for children to see their parents agreeing on key issues from the outset of a divorce. This will help enormously as they grow up.

Working with your ex may not always be easy, but communication and collaboration will make a huge difference to the present and future lives and well-being of you, your ex, and, most importantly, your children.

For more information about divorce and finances, children’s issues or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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In the fictional comedy Andrew, a travel writer, frantically splits his time between wife Kim and their teenage daughter Christina and wife Denise and their teenage son Kris.

Andrew’s overarching aim is to protect the two families he genuinely cherishes, but in reality the distress and trauma experienced by Christina and Kris when the truth is unravelled could be long lasting.

Casting aside the themes of bigamy and a near close shave when Christina and Kris almost dated, the teenagers emotional turmoil would include trying to come to terms with having a half sister and brother.

Siblings who are made aware of each other’s existence in their formative years experience wide-ranging emotions. In this particular scenario the teenagers may be bewildered why their father was a ‘part time dad’ and hurt and angry at the realisation they’ve been sharing him with another family. In many cases children and young people blame themselves for the situation.

In circumstances like this when Andrew’s duplicity is doomed for disaster, Christina and Kris could also be caught in the crossfire of their respective mothers’ anguish and heartache on discovering Andrew’s infidelity and litany of lies over the last 15 years.

Such damaging behaviour can affect youngsters’ mental health and the development of their social and emotional skills and academic achievements. It can also influence their ability to form future relationships.

When considering divorce or separation, the key concern for most parents is their children’s welfare, which includes their living arrangements, financial provision, schooling and holidays.

Jones Myers family lawyers put children at the heart of family law and our skilled Leeds, Harrogate and London based specialists are adept at dealing with all aspects of Children Law including residence, contact, relocation, child protection, special guardianship applications, international child abduction and adoption.

We wholeheartedly understand that our guidance is given from the sanctuary of our office as opposed to emotionally charged backdrops which parents deal with daily when coping with their children and managing contact arrangements.

For more information about children’s issues, divorce or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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Often regarded as a vital, reliable source of stability, grandparents can provide much-needed emotional and practical support at a time of upheaval and uncertainty.

As a part of the family, but one step removed from the turmoil of the relationship breakdown, grandparents are in a unique position. They can provide a valuable listening ear to their divorced child and grandchildren, who are likely to be confused, angry or upset.

Providing a safe space, away from the heat of the break-up, it’s not unusual for grandparents to feel torn between warring partners – especially when their grandchildren are involved.

Whilst it’s only natural for a grandparent to be protective of his or her own child, we always advise that they do their best to avoid increase animosity towards the other parent during what is a very difficult time for all family members.

If children know a grandparent is not going to judge, they may feel more able to confide in them. Equally, if they hear them criticising either parent, they may be reluctant to speak to them for fear of ‘taking sides’.

The role of grandparents, particularly in the early days of a divorce, can be instrumental in sustaining their grandchildren’s critical routines – as well as supporting their son or daughter both practically and emotionally.

Here are some handy hints on how they can grandparents support their children and grandchildren after a breakup:

Do:

• Be careful to provide breathing space and allow others to provide assistance
• Respect the confidence of your grandchildren – they may find it easier to talk to you
• Help out by looking after your grandchildren, as your child will be feeling emotionally and physically drained – assisting with domestic chores and childcare can be a huge help, especially shortly after separation
• Be careful about giving advice, unless this is something you have been asked for – your perception of events, however valid, will be different

Don’t:

• Give advice unless your son or daughter asks you specifically for your help – you won’t see events in the same way as them, even though your views may be valid
• Criticise your son-in-law or daughter-in-law to the grandchildren
• Give advice unless your son or daughter asks you for this – even though your views may be valid, you will not be seeing events in the same way as them

For more information about the divorce process or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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A call for more concerted action to prevent children in parental disputes being abducted overseas comes as yet more disturbing cases hit the headlines.

The stark reality is that around 1, 000 British children are taken abroad by the other parent without permission every year.

The appeal for a global campaign comes from the charity, Abducted Angels which raises funds for families to help them trace their children and bring them back. The organisation also enlists the voluntary services of social workers and counsellors to help rehabilitate abducted children.

In many cases, children are whisked away to countries that are not a signatory of the Hague Convention on International child abduction – an international agreement made in 1980. These countries include Afghanistan, Egypt, Iraq, Saudia Arabia and Zimbabwe.

Such cases can prove especially challenging because there are no international systems in place to help parents who are desperate to find and be reunited with their children.

The Foreign and Commonwealth (FCO) office will do its best to help but admits to having limited powers because it cannot interfere in the laws of a non-Hague country.

The severe psychological impact on children who have been abducted can be devastating and long lasting and it is vital to obtain the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child before taking them abroad. Below are some tips on how to stay vigilant and keep your children safe.

Tell-tale signs to look out for:  

• Selling a house
• An interest in obtaining a copy of a child’s birth certificate
• Making moves to obtain a child’s passport
• Announcing a desire to go on holiday with the child/children and without the other parent
• Leaving a job

Preventative steps to consider:

• Apply to the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO); this prevents either parent from taking their children to any specific events or any trips without the express permission of the other parent
• Ensure that contact is supervised and, in extreme cases, you may wish to stop contact altogether
• Keep passports safe and consider depositing them with a solicitor
• Contact the Passport Agency and ask them to block the other parent from applying for a new passport
• Notify the school about who is allowed to collect your child from school

If you receive a threat of child abduction or if your child has been abducted:

• Contact the police immediately, who can issue a port alert to airports and ferry terminals. Recent photos of your child and the other parent, together with details of the airport or destination you think they may be heading, will help the police to focus their search
• Contact Reunite, a UK charity specialising in parental child abduction which operates a 24 hour emergency helpline.
• Seek legal advice immediately

For more information about child abduction, children’s issues, divorce or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Peter Jones, founder

A senior judge’s call for parents with valuable homes to be forced to pay more child support highlights a loophole in the system which is criticised as being unfair and does not put children’s interests first.

Since 2012, child maintenance payments have been based on income only, with assets not included in calculations by the Child Maintenance Service (CMS), which decides the rate. This means that people can live off their capital, declare a low income and pay minimal child support.

While Mr Justice Mostyn has said that the law is unjust and should be changed, in my opinion a more comprehensive solution would be to return child maintenance in matrimonial and non- matrimonial cases to the jurisdiction of the family court. The courts should be accessed through one uniform procedure, regardless of the parent’s matrimonial status.

Here judges have a wide discretion and would ensure that the family assets are shared to achieve fairness – with the first consideration being the welfare of any children.

This would also free up the CMS to concentrate on its other vital responsibilities such as pursuing parents who do not pay and enforcing child upkeep.

In addition, the Matrimonial Causes Act should be re-examined with a view to making it fit for purpose for today’s modern and evolving world.

Drafted forty years ago, it has been criticised for provoking conflict and confrontation. In 2013, retiring High Court judge Paul Coleridge aptly said: “The days of the gladiatorial wars of the titans are over. The dinosaurs have had their day.”

As members of Resolution, all Jones Myers family lawyers are prominent supporters of alternative dispute resolution – striving to resolve family disputes constructively, to try to avoid costly, public and stressful litigation.

Our approach encourages clients to co-operate and reach agreement wherever possible about dividing their assets and securing the future of their children, whose interests should be at heart of everything.

For more information about children’s issues or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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‘Bird’s nest custody’ – a process where children live in one home, while their parents move in and out to an agreed schedule to look after them – is an increasingly popular arrangement for divorced and separated couples.

The process is highlighted in the hit TV series ‘Billions’, where US Attorney, Chuck Rhoades and his estranged wife, Wendy, a high-powered performance coach, harness it to maintain stability for their son and daughter while they try to work out their differences.

It has also taken off this side of The Pond. Many couples who have been introduced to bird’s nest custody via meditation say it has brought them closer together as they collaborate on their children’s best interests. As well as the intended benefit of stability and reduced stress for children, the process can make communication between parents more effective.

Nevertheless, there are potential pitfalls to beware of:

• Some children may be of an age where they can accommodate the arrangement, but older ones may rebel, or feel unsettled by the situation.
• While it might give children a sense of security, it could also confuse them – raising false hopes that their parents might get back together.
• Parents must have other living arrangement in place when not ‘on duty’. Running three homes will be beyond the financial means of many families.
• The process requires a high level of trust and cooperation between couples which may not be achievable
• It can also pose the issues of cooking and shopping for your ex, when you must declare that you have lived separate and apart before decree absolute can be granted.
• The option might also make it more difficult for parents to form new relationships, as it will tie future partners into their rigid domestic arrangements.

Difficulties and obstacles are not insurmountable, but couples would need to meticulously plan, compromise and communicate, just as in other child custody matters. It is vital that boundaries and rules are drawn up before embarking on the process.

For more information about bird’s next custody or any aspect of family law call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce

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There has been a dramatic rise in the number of litigants in person – those representing themselves in divorce court hearings – to decide children’s best interests.

This is because litigants are trying to reduce costs following the government’s abolition, in 2013, of Legal Aid in private law children cases where agreement cannot be reached on finance, contact or residence.

However, in our vast experience, representing yourself can bring many pitfalls for litigants in person. Not only is there the anxiety of speaking in court to a Judge but there is usually a substantial amount of paper work to prepare and also read. It is difficult to be objective when reading allegations from your own partner. Problems can likewise arise in understanding the Law and also appreciating what issues will be important to a Judge.

Even the most articulate people representing themselves struggle to get to grips with the finer points of law, the standards of evidence and the advocacy techniques that professionals take years to develop. The system is highly adversarial and cases need to presented in a technical way, requiring both knowledge and an emotional distance that parents will find hard to muster.

There is also a woeful lack of support and assistance in court for self-representing litigants.

The culmination of the above can lead to very highly charged hearings, with many of the marriage’s tensions and other arguments often aired in court – all of which can prolong the trauma for everyone involved, including the children.

Jones Myers’ highly trained Children Department lawyers always advise parents to consider the options for divorce by settlement – collaboration, arbitration and mediation – rather than a court battle. As well as being less confrontational, less stressful and completely private, they can result in a swift resolution and save on legal expenses.

Jones Myers partner and head of Children’s Department, Kate Banerjee, has ‘Higher Court Rights’, something fewer than 2,500 solicitors have in England and Wales, which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service.

Kate and her colleagues can also introduce parents going through divorce to support groups, counsellors and life coaches, to help guide them to making the right choices and ensure their wellbeing.

Whatever route is chosen, it is advisable to have legal representation to prevent matters spiralling out of control.

If a court hearing cannot be avoided, costs can be kept to a minimum by appointing a family law firm whose in-house expertise removes the need for a barrister. This can reduce fees by two thirds.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on representing yourself in court or any other divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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