By Peter Jones, founder

The debate over whether pre-nups in England & Wales hold their weight in court has resurfaced following the case of the bankrupt hotel porter who was awarded a £1.3 million divorce payout from his wealthy wife.

A judge ruled that a pre-nup agreement signed by Anil Ipekci two weeks before marrying Morgan McConnell, the great-granddaughter of Avon cosmetics founder David McConnell, was unfair and would leave him penniless.

As a result Mr Ipekci – a bankrupt when he met his ex wife – has received the £1.3 million windfall to buy a house and pay off his credit card, bank debts and unpaid legal fees.It is important to stress that this scenario is highly unusual. Although still not legally binding in England and Wales, in the majority of cases pre-nups are widely accepted as the sensible way for couples to avoid the potential distress, acrimony and expense associated with resolving financial matters, should their relationship end.

Their increasing popularity reflects how couples view their open and transparent nature as a positive factor when planning their wedding.

Far from castigating the agreements as clinical and unromantic, more couples are demonstrating that while seeking to protect inherited or family money, they also want to do ‘the right thing’ by each other – and by any children.

Our niche family law specialists at Jones Myers have also experienced more clients seeking to include arrangements for their beloved pets in a pre-nup.

Situations where such contracts run into problems include when judges think they have been signed in haste and under pressure. They will want to know that the partner with the most to lose understood the agreement, was not under duress when they signed it, and took independent legal advice. Courts may ignore or vary pre-nups drawn up in haste.

We always advise that the agreement is signed at least 21 days before the wedding, making full financial disclosure and securing good legal advice.

If respected family lawyers help draw up the agreement, judges can be confident that both parties understood it fully and were not rushed into it.

For information about pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements or any aspect of family law, call us at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Peter Jones, founder

While not wishing to deflate buoyant reports on how divorce rates for newlyweds and couples who’ve been married for five years have plummeted – the drop, while welcome, is also attributable to fewer people tying the knot.

What does concern me is that non-married partners account for half of the breakups amongst cohabiting couples – with numbers further increasing among those who are less well off.Married couples and partners living together are subject to exactly the same challenges and pressures in their family and personal lives. This however, is where the similarities end.

While married couples who split up are entitled to protection in critical areas such as savings, income, pensions or business interests, cohabiting couples have no rights should they separate.

With many cohabitating couples mistakenly believing they have the same protection as married people, it is vital that they know what measures to take to protect themselves.

We always recommend a cohabitation (‘living together’) agreement, to record who owns what at the outset. It encourages people to think clearly about what they want to happen – not only while they live together, but also if their relationship ends.

The agreement sets out how property is divided along with personal belongings, savings, pensions and other assets should couples part. It establishes how children will be supported, how to deal with bank accounts, debts and joint purchases such as a car along with matters including pets.

The protection of children is the one area where there is equal treatment under the law. Sons and daughters of unmarried parents have the same rights to financial support as those of married couples. The Child Maintenance Service (CMS) is responsible for assessing and enforcing maintenance. However, where a parent’s income exceeds the CMS’s jurisdiction, the other can apply to the family court to increase payments.

It is important that each party seeks independent legal advice and discloses all financial information in the lead up to signing the agreement, which should be reviewed regularly.

The agreement can be drafted either prior to or during the time couples are together. It can also be amended, as long as both parties agree that the original agreement should be changed – and in what way.

We witness all too often the devastation of unmarried partners who leave a long-standing relationship with little more than the clothes they are wearing and regret not knowing that they could have protected their property, assets – and their future.

For information about cohabitation agreements, or any aspect of family or children law, call our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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An increased focus on loneliness has revealed that chronic loneliness can be a bigger health threat than obesity.

When relating to divorce it is not uncommon for people who feel isolated in a bad marriage or relationship to remain trapped there – because they are more afraid of being single and alone forever.

As a niche family law firm which adopts a holistic approach to assist the well-being of our clients, we understand that divorce and separation feel socially and emotionally cut off.

Staying in a loveless, unfulfilling relationship is the worst scenario – even when children are involved because you are subjecting them to your tensions and unhappiness. Putting their best interests first and adopting a spirit of cooperation to ensure their future wellbeing is the best course of action.

Looking after yourself is vital following separation and divorce – here are some steps to help keep your world on an even keel:

Get a Social life: Interacting with family and friends who can provide support, empathy and practical advice to plan ahead stimulates conversations and positive vibes.

Take a weekend break: Visit family and friends who live away. A change of scenery overnight or a drive to the coast and a long walk on a beach boosts well-being.

Exercise and activity: A daily half hour walk can do wonders for your outlook and sense of positivity. It is not always necessary to exhaust yourself at the gym.

Make new friends: Think about hobbies you enjoy but have maybe neglected. Join clubs or associations such as walking, cycling, sailing, photography, a choir, amateur dramatics, dancing.

Eat well: A healthy diet provides the nutrients needed for energy, healthy metabolic rate and a robust immune system. The rewards of shopping and cooking outweigh the effort involved.

Sleep: Get seven or eight hours a night quality sleep. An hour before midnight is worth two afterwards.

Manage alcohol intake: Over-indulging in alcohol will exacerbate, not alleviate, a bad situation, so stick to moderate social drinking.

While we recognise how difficult it can be to face the “brave new world” and find the energy and enthusiasm to rebuild your life, when you come out the other side you will reflect how investing in yourself was worth everything to achieve a better, brighter and more settled future.

For more information about the divorce process or any aspect of family or children law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas with towns and cities ablaze with festive trees, lights and decorations along with children’s breathless anticipation of a magical break.

The season of goodwill also brings with it innumerable stresses which can test even the most robust relationships and severely challenge families and couples for whom the season brings additional financial and emotional strains.

Spending time under one roof for prolonged periods requires careful planning, thought and cooperation – particularly in adverse weather.

The following tips we have compiled are designed to help you avoid becoming a New Year divorce casualty. They aim to help you to create and enjoy a memorable winter wonderland without a frosty thaw setting in.

1. Play together, stay together. This is vital, especially if you have children. Seize the free time to enjoy each other’s company with conversation and games – whether traditional or digital.
2. Go for walks. Take a break from the TV, wrap up and enjoy a bracing walk in the country or town. The low cost, high value exercise will promote the feelgood factor and leave you all energised and raring to go!
3. Keep tabs on alcohol consumption. The season to be jolly is packed with party invites awash with wide-ranging alcoholic enticements so ensure you don’t overdo it – and drink lots of water.
4. Eat well. There are temptations such as cakes, puddings, chocolates and sweets lurking around every corner so try to balance them with healthy food such as fruit and fresh vegetables.
5. Sleep well. We all know that sleep is restorative and rejuvenating in mind and body so take advantage (circumstances permitting) of being off work to catch up on your sleep so you can fire on all cylinders.

We wish you a joyous and peaceful festive season filled with happiness and hope for the year ahead. Share you tips with us – we’d love to hear from you.

For information about any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Peter Jones, founder

The government’s new divorce form, aimed at making the process more user-friendly, is more likely to backfire by increasing conflict and lengthening the time a divorce takes.

The updated online form includes a space for those applying for a divorce to name who their spouse has committed adultery with. Once named, the third party is tied up in the court case, sent copies of the paperwork and given an opportunity to respond. Failure to reply can delay proceedings and rack up more costs.

Although the naming is not compulsory, many commentators rightly predict it will lead to a rise in shaming third parties as ‘wronged partners’ publicly vilify their love rivals.
The supposed advancement is a major setback following the hard work and commitment in recent years of courts, responsible legal practices and support agencies to settle family disputes non-confrontationally. The invitation to name and shame flies in the face of this.

As members of Resolution, all Jones Myers family lawyers are prominent supporters of alternative dispute resolution – striving to resolve family disputes constructively, to try to avoid costly, public and stressful litigation. Retaliating in this way might provide a short-term lift, but is unhelpful in the long run – especially where children are involved

We are committed to a collaborative approach to dealing with divorce and family matters. Even if issues are particularly complex and need a judge or an arbitrator to make a decision, a lawyer who follows Resolution’s code of practice will avoid an unnecessarily aggressive route wherever possible.

Not only will this approach save much time, stress and cost by avoiding a court battle, it allows couples to concentrate on what is really important; ensuring that children’s interests are best served; reaching a fair settlement for both sides; and being able to move on afterwards without lingering bitterness and resentment.

For more information about divorce or any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at our Leeds office on 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office on 01423 276104, visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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Cohabiting couples are calling for a change in the law to give them the same rights as married couples.

The findings of the latest in a series of surveys reinforce a lack of understanding among this fastest growing family type which makes up 17.5 per cent of families in the UK and which is forecast to keep growing due to the revival of the property market.

One third of cohabitants believed they had same rights as married couples but, contrary to popular belief, there is no legal status in England and Wales for cohabitees.

If you live together, the law does not offer the financial protection a married person would have if their relationship ended or their spouse died. You cannot share an ex-partner’s savings, pensions or business interests – nor can you claim maintenance for yourself.

In cases where a home is jointly owned the deeds, if in both partners’ names, should reflect the proportion they ought to receive on a sale. It is important before buying a home that couples receive the relevant advice as to how the proceeds should be divided. If they omit to do this, being awarded a share in any property depends on their ability to establish ownership, based on either a financial contribution or a common intention – a complex area of law.

For many years, Jones Myers has been a vociferous campaigner for increased legal protection for cohabitees and founder, Peter Jones, has lobbied the government for reform.

Our frequently asked questions and answers help to give couples security and reassurance:

How can I protect my financial interests?
A cohabitation or ‘living together’ agreement provides some security. It will encourage you and your partner to think clearly about what you want to happen if your relationship ends, setting out who owns what – and in what proportion.

What does a cohabitation agreement cover?
Cohabitation agreements also cover more day-to-day matters, e.g. pets and lodgers. They can document how you will divide property as well as paying off debts, personal belongings, savings and other assets should you split up – along with how children will be supported plus dealing with bank accounts, debts and joint purchases such as a car.

What’s involved with making a cohabitation agreement?
Agreements are often made at meetings within the non-confrontational process. We are ideally placed to help you decide whether one is right for you and, if so, how best to frame it.

When can a cohabitation agreement be made?
A cohabitation agreement can be drafted prior to and during your cohabitation to record who owns what at the outset – and how any jointly acquired property will be divided in the event of a relationship break down. It helps to provide a degree of security, while encouraging you to think clearly about what would happen should the relationship end.

Is a cohabitation agreement legally binding?
Yes. It is enforceable with courts supporting cohabitees’ rights in financial and capital claims.

What else can I do to protect myself?
It is vital for cohabiting couples to make a will and that they revisit it regularly. If one partner dies intestate (without a will), the other could end up with nothing. Depending upon the circumstances, it may be possible to make a claim against the deceased’s estate.

Our highly skilled Leeds, Harrogate and London based family law specialists are adept at dealing with issues arising from cohabitation – whether to advise you on your rights before you cohabit or in the event your relationship has broken down.

For more information about cohabitation or any aspect of family law call our team of experts at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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The countdown to half-term holidays can spark the onset of headaches for many divorced and separated parents.

The perennial argument over who gets the children – and when – can be further exacerbated by work patterns and domestic arrangements.

Common issues include full time working fathers being unable to arrange days off when colleagues are also requesting leave – sparking mothers’ concerns that their children will be put in Kids’ Clubs or left with a new partner.

Similarly, a parent who works from home or does not work is better placed to justify having the children than their commuting ex.

With increasing family and work demands putting leisure time at a premium, rifts and tensions result in some couples ending up back in court. Here are some tips to reduce the emotional strain of half term.

1. Set objectives: just as in the wider context of separation and divorce, start with seeking to achieve what is best for the children, despite your feelings or grievances. Genuinely strive for what will make them happiest, don’t criticise your ex in front of them – and avoid asking them directly or indirectly to take sides.

2. Be flexible: accept that children will want to see as much of both their parents, their grandparents, wider family and their friends as possible. It falls to both parents to try to achieve this – and if it means that you end up spending less time with your children this half-term, discuss it reasonably with your ex to make up for it in the next one.

3. Communicate regularly: talk to each other and plan ahead – giving you time to agree on and organise logistics, such as travel, seeing wider family and grandparents’ access.

4. Keep the children updated on what’s happening: they like certainty and security so let them know as far in advance as possible about half-term arrangements. This will help them adjust to the unexpected and, hopefully, present a scenario they can look forward to.

If you really can’t reach agreement with your ex, mediation is a far less stressful, more cost-effective option than a return to court. Jones Myers’ highly trained Children Department lawyers always advise parents to avoid court battles and can guide you on how best to resolve disputes.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on representing yourself in court or any other divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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The New Year is a symbolic time for most people – one of new beginnings, hopes and aspirations for the future.

Understandably, the holiday period may have left those recently divorced feeling fragile and exhausted – making it more difficult to plan ahead with any degree of enthusiasm or certainty.

If you are in this situation, looking after your physical and mental wellbeing is vital to help you feel re-energised and refocused. There has never been a better time to set in place some simple resolutions to boost your quality of life – and help you to move forward with confidence and purpose.

Eat well: A healthy diet provides the nutrients needed for energy, healthy metabolic rate and a robust immune system – all of which will be essential if you are to create a ‘New Year and a New You’. It is often an effort to shop and cook but the rewards are well worth it.

Sleep: Without enough sleep our immune systems are weakened, we don’t perform well and can become ill. Ensure that you get seven or eight hours a night and aim for quality sleep by not working on IT devices immediately beforehand. Remember an hour before midnight is worth two afterwards. Sleeping in never helped anyone as you feel sluggish and unfocused.

Manage alcohol intake: It’s a known fact that over-indulging in alcohol will exacerbate – not alleviate – a bad situation, so manage your intake sensibly and stick to moderate social drinking with friends.

Social life: Having a social life stimulates conversations and gives you positive vibes. Don’t cut yourself off from family and friends, as not only will interacting with them make you feel better, they can provide support, empathy and practical advice to plan ahead.

Exercise and activity: Often the last thing people want to do when they are down is exercise, yet the endorphins it releases provide a great mental lift. Just a daily half hour walk can do wonders for your outlook and sense of positivity. Sometimes just getting out and about is enough; it is not always necessary to exhaust yourself at the gym.

Indulge yourself: A little treat or doing something you enjoy can make you much happier. If you’re happier you will feel better and if you feel better, you will be far more inclined to have the positive outlook needed to make firm plans for the future.

Imagining and achieving a positive, productive and happy future is difficult if your health is not in good shape. Looking after yourself is a vital step towards your new life in 2017 and beyond.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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The festive countdown will leave many separated spouses and their children feeling apprehensive, distressed and nervous – particularly for estranged couples who are embarking on their first Christmas post-divorce.

For the newly single, these sentiments are understandably exacerbated at what is already an emotional time of year – and if they no longer live with their children.

The partner looking after the children can likewise feel overwhelmed with the prospect of feeling they single-handedly need to organise everything and everyone.

In this scenario, effective planning, communication and a spirit of goodwill can help both parents to survive the break while keeping the children at the heart of celebrations.

Here are six top tips for reducing stress at Christmas:

1. Set objectives: always aim to achieve what is best for the children, despite any lingering grievances you may have. Don’t criticise your ex in front of them or ask them to take sides – as this will make them less likely to want to spend time with you.

2. Be flexible: accept that children will want to see as much as possible of both parents, wider family and their friends. If that means you spend less time with them this year, discuss it reasonably with your ex and aim to make up for it next Christmas.

3. Talk to each other: planning ahead with regular communications should allow you to agree and organise a holiday season that will suit as many people as possible.

4. Tell the children what’s happening: the further ahead you can let children know how Christmas will be spent the better; they like security and certainty – and will already have been unsettled by the split. Hopefully, keeping them informed will allow them to adjust to the Christmas changes and give them a scenario they can look forward to.

5. Double the magic: if you don’t spend Christmas Day with the children, why not organise a second celebration or an added treat for them? As well as enhancing their anticipation and enjoyment, it will strengthen the bonds between you.

6. Treat yourself: many parents hanker for a break from the children after a few days confined with them. As such, make the most of the time you’re apart; treat yourself or do something you couldn’t if they were there – and be sure not to neglect your health and wellbeing.

Simple planning and communication can help the whole family feel better about Christmas following a breakup – and could be key to more harmonious relationships in the years ahead as everyone moves on.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on arbitration or divorce related issues, leave a comment below, call the team at Jones Myers on 0113 246 0055 or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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In our vast experience many divorcees bitterly regret splitting from their partner and wish they had taken more time to think things through before making one of the most momentous and traumatic decisions of their lives.

Anger and a desire for revenge are outweighed by common misgivings of sadness and a fear for the future – and there is often a feeling that “Once the train has departed there is nothing that can be done to slow it down or bring it to a halt”.

Many clients who approach us about divorce regret “not seeing it coming” and reveal they have missed signs such as less meaningful conversation, fewer shared interests, less time spent together and more time spent at work along with reduced intimacy and ‘growing apart.’

Our ethos at Jones Myers is to always give our clients space to consider the ramifications of their divorce and, depending upon their situation, encourage them to think about the impact of a split on their children, their spouse – and their health.

Think carefully about why you want a divorce

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your decision based on emotional or logic?
• Do you still love your partner?
• What are the downsides of divorce? – Especially for any children whose interests should always be put first. (We’ve previously written about the long-term distress that divorce can have on children).

Speak with a trusted third party

Have a frank conversation with a close relative or a friend before rushing to set the divorce wheels in motion. This enables you to step back and get some perspective on the situation

Can you save your marriage? 

A marriage that has got into a rut, or where one party wrongly believes their spouse has gone off them or is having an affair, can be put back on track by having a heart-to–heart with your partner and rekindling common interests. Many people who regret being divorced miss the companionship and intimacy they shared with their partners.

Where someone has been unfaithful or people truly are sick of the sight of each other, the situation may be harder to repair. Nevertheless, if you both agree there is hope, work with third parties to help retrieve the marriage. This could involve the support and guidance of a counsellor, friends or family.

What are the financial consequences?

Think about the financial fall out of a divorce. Where will you live, how will your domestic arrangements work for your children – will your financial situation change dramatically?

Details of all healthcare, insurance, death and any other benefits that may be lost by virtue of the divorce should also be collated and understood before the divorce is completed, as they might have to be factored into any settlement or replaced. An Independent Financial Adviser may be enlisted to explain and advise on these issues.

Signing your divorce papers constitutes a monumental, life-changing decision – so don’t be impulsive; do ensure you are 100 percent certain that divorce is the way forward to avoid years of looking backwards with deep-rooted regrets.

To discuss the consequences and options available to you, the advice and assistance of a good firm of good family lawyers is essential. You can contact the Jones Myers team on 0113 246 0055.

If you have any comments, queries or concerns on wider divorce related issues, leave a comment below or tweet us on @helpwithdivorce.

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