Podcast with Neil Dring, Jones Myers Senior Solicitor   

If your relationship has broken down and separation is inevitable, resolving major issues about finances and arrangements for children – whose interests should always come first – is a priority.   

In these circumstances, understanding the process of separation and the difference in outcomes between married and unmarried couples is also vital to help you plan the way forward during this difficult period.       

In this podcast, Senior Solicitor Neil Dring, explains to radio presenter, Nick Hancock, how finances, namely savings and investments,  are divided – and how the needs of children are met for both married couples and couples who have lived together.  

To listen to the Podcast click here: https://rb.gy/g802m

For information on any aspect of family law, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, at Harrogate on 01423 276104, or at York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By Partner, Anthony Parrish from Jones Myers Children’s Department  

An unprecedented development sees journalists reporting in family law courts on cases which include the future and wellbeing of children whose parents are divorcing.    

Whereas the media could previously observe such hearings but only report on what a judge allowed, accredited reporters can now write in detail on cases, have access to some legal documents and interview families about their cases – providing their identify is protected.  

The move, part of a pilot scheme, aims to remove long-standing concerns about the ‘secrecy’ surrounding family courts, create greater transparency and build public confidence.

Covering private and public children law cases – the latter which involves local authorities – the 12-month pilot applies to family courts in Leeds, Carlisle, and Cardiff.

As a whole, our highly acclaimed Children’s Department sees the pilot as a favourable move in providing a positive insight within the media in helping the public understand the realities of the Family Court System – and for an unbiased approach to be taken.

However, this isn’t without some reservation about  how those who represent themselves in Court Proceedings may try to use the media to their own advantage. Particularly if they did this to portray the other party in an unfavourable light or put their privacy at risk.

In those situations, there would be concerns about how this could be managed safely, especially around the potential for Social Media platforms to be abused.

The new reporting freedoms could also see divorcing couples – particularly those with a profile in their community who are concerned about protecting their own and their children’s privacy – resolve matters out of the courtroom glare.

This can be achieved through alternative routes such as mediation or the collaborative process which help separating couples to find an agreed way forward in a constructive, positive manner.

Less costly, acrimonious, and drawn-out, these alternatives protect children being exposed to the fall out of their parents’ relationship. They prioritise children’s well-being and help the long-term interests of all those involved in the break-up.  

The specialisms of Jones Myers award-winning Children’s Team – which deals with every aspect of private and public children law – span residence, contact, relocation, international child abduction, adoption, and child protection.  

Dedicated to consistently delivering excellence, we act for parents and grandparents, we represent children, through their court appointed Children’s Guardians allocated by Cafcass. We also act separately for children of a significant age and maturity. 

Our extensive expertise also includes a Family Law Mediator, a Child Inclusive Mediator, Collaborative Family Lawyer and In House Counsel.    

More information on the new reporting freedoms can be found here Reporting in the Family Court (parliament.uk)    

For queries on children law, mediation, or other family law issues, call Leeds 0113 246 0055, Harrogate 01423 276104, York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 8^th in the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2023.

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The strains of the Easter holidays on families and relationships may prove a trigger point for many spouses to contemplate divorce in the hope that their lives will ‘return to normal.’  

Filing for divorce is traumatic and life-changing with various studies revealing that between one third and one half of divorcees wished they had made more effort to stay in their marriage.       

Before taking the leap, answer these questions:

Do you still love your husband/wife?

A video of a wife who was on the verge of a divorce revealed she knew their marriage could be saved because they still loved each other. If your marriage is worth salvaging, consider counselling sessions to address your issues in a confidential environment.

How would divorce affect your children?

Many adults still remember the bombshell of their parents splitting up. Divorce can be long-lasting and, in some cases, damaging to children’s long-term health. Think through how terminating your relationship will impact on their interests which should always come first.

How would it impact on the wider family and friends?

A marriage break up can have far reaching effects on wider family members who may feel the need to take sides. How would it impact on your support network and important routines such as school runs, sports activities, and holidays? Being divorced can also change the dynamics of your friendships with other couples.   

Can you afford to be divorced?

Fear of starting all over again can cause a state of paralysis. This is particularly applicable to spouses who have not had to deal with financial practicalities such as tax, standing orders and direct debits.

Would you have sufficient income, where would you live – and how would that work for your children’s domestic, schooling and holiday arrangements?

If you are a mother who has stayed at home to bring up your children, would you need to return to work. If so, would this require, retraining, studying etc?

How would it affect your work?

If you are working, does your current work and career involve working shifts and unsociable hours? Would your employer be supportive if you divorced and required extra time off if the children were unwell or, for example, needed taking to appointments?

Would you be happier post-divorce?

Understanding what makes you happy is vital. While some people see divorce as a solution to their problems, many studies indicate that it does not necessarily make them happier.

As a niche family law firm, Jones Myers adopts a holistic approach to family law and has access to tried and tested professionals including counsellors and tax experts.

For advice on divorce or family law related issues, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

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The impact of divorce on children can be deep-rooted and long-lasting – which is why more separating parents are looking for ways of communicating about their separation in a way which puts their children’s wellbeing first.

An increasing number of separating couples also want to avoid the emotional trauma, stress and expense of litigation and a drawn out court battle.

In a courtroom, binding decisions of huge importance – such as how your financial assets are divided and how much time you can spend with your children – can be taken out of your hands by a Judge.

Mediation is an alternative way forward which puts you in the driving seat. In mediation you and your ex work constructively towards agreed arrangements aligned with your family’s long-term interests.

During mediation you and your ex discuss, confidentially with a qualified mediator, those issues which are most important to you.   With the right mediator, there is no reason why financially complex issues cannot be agreed using the process.

Advantages of using mediation include financial and time savings as the process takes the time it needs to resolve your particular issues.  This can be anything from one meeting in less complex cases to several meetings over a few months, where the background issues are more complicated.

This measured approach, which keeps communication channels open, can also lessen the emotional impact of the split on your children.

You will still need legal advice in support of the mediation process and the mediator will guide you as to when this is required.  The amount of solicitor involvement is much more limited than in a conventional case however, which makes the legal costs much lower.

 Where necessary, agreements reached in mediation can easily be incorporated into draft orders by your solicitors and approved by a Judge to be made legally binding. 

Jones Myers continues to receive growing recognition for our extensive expertise in Mediation, Collaborative Law and Arbitration – all of which avoid going to court and enable you, your ex and your children to get on with your lives.

Our partner, Nicki Mitchell, the first qualified collaborative family lawyer in York, has also been a qualified family law mediator since 2015.

 Nicki has recently further enhanced her extensive expertise by becoming a qualified child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to who meets with children of separated parents and hear what they want.

Jones Myers founder, Peter Jones, is a qualified mediator and among the country’s first arbitrators qualified to arbitrate on financial and property disputes along with the breakup of civil partnership or disputes between cohabiting couples whose relationships have ended.

 The benefits of mediation are being highlighted extensively during Family Mediation Week which runs from January 17 to January 21. Organised by the Family Mediation Council, the initiative is supported by the Family Mediators Association, The Law Society, National Family Mediation, Resolution and the College of Mediators.  

To help you decide if mediation is for you, Jones Myers offers a free-of-charge 30 minute consultation via telephone, face to face or video for our new clients.

Call our Leeds office 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office 01423 276104, or our York office on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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By guest blogger – Relationship Counsellor Karen Palmer

After the challenges of a COVID restricted festive season last year, many people are looking forward to a “normal” celebration this year – lots of get togethers with family and friends, lots of fun and generally a happy time all round.

Spare a thought, however, for those people for whom this time of year, every year, can be particularly difficult and emotionally challenging.  Specifically, I mean those families where parents have separated, leaving the question about who do the children go to over the festive period, and all the associated practical and emotional issues around this. 

There is no doubt that children can, and will, pick up on tensions between their parents. Those that already feel unsettled by their family dynamics starting to look different, can sometimes feel worried that they may be seen to be favouring one parent if they spend Christmas Day with one and not the other. 

They can then feel guilty and responsible for the one that is not with them on the day.  There can be the possibility that parents try to “outdo” each other with gifts and showing their children a good time.  Extended family, whilst well meaning, can add to the stress for both parents and children.

The good news is that it does not have to be like this.  Despite differences between separating couples, regardless of the reasons, there is a valid argument for taking the drama out of the situation and finding a way forward that relies on communication, compromise and setting boundaries. 

For the mental well being of both the adults and the children involved, planning  ahead and setting time aside to look at respective expectations and how these can be met, can prove invaluable. Finding yourself in a middle of a situation with no forward planning (or last minute disorganised planning) can feel difficult and unsettling. 

When everyone understands what has been agreed (and sticks to it), things tend to run more smoothly and nobody is then left to feel that they had no control over the situation.

The key to all of the above, however, is communication.  Obviously, in some situations, everything can feel very “raw” (especially if the separation is recent or has been acrimonious).  If it feels too difficult to speak together by yourselves, it can be useful to involve an impartial third party to help facilitate those conversations. 

This can be a family law firm, a mediator or a relationship counsellor.  It is very important that you find the right person for both of you.  This should allow you a safe space for each of you to feel heard and to be able to speak honestly and constructively. 

Karen Palmer, a Relate trained Counsellor who provides relationship counselling for clients who are married, in a relationship, single, separated or divorced, can be contacted on karen.e.palmer@hotmail.com, Tel: 07899708563, or www.karenpalmercounselling.com

For queries on children law, divorce or family law related issues, call Jones Myers at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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Jones Myers is offering a free parenting guide to help families who are divorcing or separating to put their children’s interests first.

The Parenting Through Separation Guide written by family professionals has been spearheaded by national family justice organisation Resolution which promotes dealing with relationship breakdowns in a constructive manner.

The guide, which is being launched during Good Divorce Week (November 29^th – December 3^rd) contains a wealth of insights and advice on how parents can find a better way forward for them and their children.  

Jones Myers Partner Kate Banerjee, who heads the Children’s Department, said: “The pandemic has put huge pressure on families – and even more so – on those who are separating. Every parent wants to put their children’s interests’ front and centre, but all too often they don’t know where to turn for help and aren’t given the support they need in order to do this.
 
“Jones Myers consistently champions the importance of putting children’s best interest at the heart of relationship breakdown and it’s vital that parents have to good, authoritative and professional advice that helps them to parent responsibly through their separation.”

Advice in the guide includes co-parenting with a former partner, common disputes that arise between separating parents, and how to talk to children about the painful topic of divorce or separation.

Juliet Harvey, national chair of Resolution, added: “I’m really pleased to have Jones Myers support during Good Divorce Week Resolution members like their family lawyers do really important work in their community to help families separate in a constructive and amicable way.

“The more families who know about and use the free Parenting Through Separation Guide, the better equipped they will be to navigate the challenges divorce and separation brings, particularly when it comes to putting children first.”
 
The guide’s tips for discussing divorce with children include the following:

If your situation allows, try to have a joint conversation when all of your children are present. Keep this age appropriate.

Plan a series of conversations, including different follow up conversations, if your children are different ages. Be mindful that their reactions will depend on their age, developmental stage and their individual personality.

Reassure your children that it is okay to feel sad or scared and showing emotion is good. They can always talk to either of you and ask questions.

Remember you are a role model and your children are watching how you manage this situation. If they see that you are still their parents, making decisions together about them, then they will cope better.

For a free copy of the Parenting Through Separation guide contact the Children’s Department on 0113 246 0055.

For queries on children law, divorce or family law related issues, call Jones Myers at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce For more information on Resolution visit @ResFamilyLaw and www.resolution.org.uk

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Various studies over the years have shown that divorce rates peak at key periods such as couples and families returning home from summer holidays which can put a strain on relationships.

However, on reflection, many divorcees wish they had taken more time to think things through before making the break in haste.   

Others regret missing tell-tale signs of an impending split such as a spouse’s increased working hours, spending less time together along with reduced conversation and intimacy.     

Before taking the plunge, we urge those in this quandary to consider the following:

Filing for divorce is one of the most difficult life-changing decisions in a person’s lifetime and one which many spouses are understandably reticent to embark upon.

1. Ask yourself why you want a divorce? Has your relationship irretrievably broken down – and is your decision based on emotion or logic? Most importantly, do you still love your partner? If the answer is yes and you feel your marriage is worth salvaging, consider counselling
2. Think through how terminating your relationship will impact on your children whose interests should always come first. It is well known that divorce can damage children’s long-term well-being.
3. Talk to close friends or relatives who will enable you to step back and give you some perspective on the situation
4. Work through how your financial situation would change as fear of starting all over again can leave many people in a state of paralysis. This is particularly applicable to spouses who have not had to deal with financial practicalities such as tax, standing orders and direct debits. Would you have sufficient income, where would you live – and how would that work for your children’s domestic, schooling and holiday arrangements? Gathering the necessary documentation to understand your finances can help both of you to think practically about what might be achievable before appointing a family lawyer.
5. Who would be your support network? Which of your friends and family would help with children’s school runs, sports activities, and holidays?
6. Looking at your work and career, would your employer be supportive if you divorced and required extra time off if the children were unwell or needed taking to appointments etc.? Also, if you are the spouse who is currently not working and are thinking about divorce, it’s worthwhile to consider returning to some kind form of employment for financial independence and to boost your confidence and self-appreciation. 

If after considering these points you decide that divorce is the only way forward, ensure you appoint an experienced family lawyer.

We highly recommend they are a member of Resolution – a community of family lawyers and other professionals committed to dealing with relationship breakdown issues in a constructive and non-confrontational manner. 

As part of our holistic approach, Jones Myers, a long-standing member of Resolution, advises and guides our clients through the stages of divorce. This includes alternative processes which avoid going to court. Our post- divorce support includes helping them to stay on the right financial track.

For advice on divorce or family law related issues, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

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By Jones Myers founder, Peter Jones

A private court hearing where separating couples hire a ‘Private Judge’ to accelerate the outcome of their financial settlements is becoming the way forward for more people undergoing divorce.

Jones Myers is a pioneer of the process called Family Law Arbitration which can avoid a prolonged, expensive and public hearing in court.

I was one of the country’s first ‘Private Judges,’ officially known as Arbitrator, when this option was introduced in 2012 to resolve differences on financial and property matters.

Similar to a judge, the Arbitrator hears the evidence from the parties, collects relevant facts and bases their decision on the evidence, taking into account the views of both parties. They make an Award over who should have what – which is final and binding in both parties.

Family Arbitration is an increasingly preferred option in contrast to Court hearings which can run the risk of a case being adjourned or unfinished due to pressure on court time or a judge becoming unavailable.

There is also the benefit of having the same Arbitrator through the process which will not happen at Court with different Judges being involved in the proceedings.

The process is quicker, confidential, and flexible and there is a substantial cost saving when delays are avoided. Divorcing couples set and agree their own timetable at the outset along with the level of the Arbitrator’s fees which they jointly pay along with any venue hired, and a transcription service if required.

Setting the scope of the dispute can, in many cases, also lead to a cost saving if the parties agree to concentrate on the essential points to be decided.

Similar to the court process, separating couples also incur legal or other costs for engaging lawyers to prepare for the arbitration and represent them. Each party usually pays their own lawyer’s costs.

The Arbitrator also has discretion to order a party to pay a part or all of the legal or other costs of another party in cases resulting from one party’s conduct during the arbitration.

Backed by the government as a process to resolve disputes, Arbitration can still go ahead if couples are involved in court proceedings. Court rules give judges the power to halt court proceedings to give the parties the opportunity to resolve the dispute through arbitration.

There is little doubt that concluding these matters quickly and efficiently brings certainty to the parties and enables them to concentrate on the future having resolved the past.

For information on arbitration or any family law matter call Jones Myers at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550 or visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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The last 12 months have undoubtedly proved a turbulent and testing time for everyone.

This includes the thousands of couples who moved in together during lockdown for practical and financial reasons – and to reduce the risk of passing on the virus.

The emotional rollercoaster sparked by the pandemic has taken its toll on even the most robust relationships – not to mention its devastating economical impact.       

Spring is symbolically a time of renewal and, as we readjust to our former lives and freedoms over the coming weeks, we recommend couples who are continuing to live together to protect themselves should they break up.  

Cohabiting couples are the fast growing family type in Britain – but, unlike married couples, they do not have any legal protection or rights if their relationship goes sour.

These rights right span savings, income, pensions and business interests and property. In 2020 the Mortgage Advice Bureau saw a 60% year-on-year rise in applications from cohabiting couples, indicating the lockdown had accelerated the moving in process for many.     

We urge unmarried partners to consider a cohabitation or ‘living together’ agreement which sets out what they want to happen – both while they live together and if their relationship ends.

The agreement clarifies who owns what and in what proportion. It also includes how property will be divided and what will happen with personal belongings, savings, debts, pensions and other assets.

Documenting how children will be supported, it outlines how to deal with bank accounts, debts and joint purchases such as a house or car and can also address pet ‘custody’ issues. 

The agreement can be drafted before or during a couple’s time together. It can likewise be altered as long as both parties agree that the original agreement should be changed, and how.

Agreeing the ‘what if’ scenarios should one partner leave, win the lottery or die, this safeguard can potentially save emotional and financial trauma at a later stage.

The arrangement, which is enforceable, can be set up through virtual ‘round-table’ meetings within the collaborative process and can avoid the likelihood of cohabitees, particularly those with children, being left destitute.

It is important that each party seeks independent legal advice and discloses all financial information in the lead up to signing the agreement, which should be reviewed regularly.

Jones Myers has extensive experience in drafting living together agreements and, sadly, in dealing with disputes arising from separations where there has been no such agreement.

For queries or concerns on living together agreements or family law related issues, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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Many people mistakenly think that obtaining a divorce settlement – the final legal agreement between a husband and wife outlining the terms of the financial arrangements post-divorce – means going to court.

In the countdown to Family Mediation Week (January 18-22) Jones Myers partner Nicki Mitchell, a skilled mediator, explains how mediation works along with its key benefits.

Why should those contemplating divorce consider mediation?

Mediation can help separating couples find a way forward in a constructive and positive manner which prioritises the well-being of children and helps the long-term interests of those involved in the break-up.  

Will a solicitor automatically suggest mediation? 

Many solicitors – including those who refer their clients to experienced mediators like myself – will explain the option of mediation. There are also lawyers who don’t mention mediation and advise their clients that the best route to obtain a divorce settlement is via the court.  

What’s the difference between litigation and mediation?

Going to court can be confrontational, costly, prolonged and – potentially – public.

If you are unable to agree, a judge who doesn’t know you or your spouse decides how your financial assets will be divided and how much time you will spend with your children. Their decision is legally binding.

Litigation can be emotionally stressful, taking many months and not infrequently over a year. The Covid-19 pandemic has made the process even longer. 

In mediation, a qualified Mediator like me can help you to discuss issues confidentially and find workable agreements more quickly and cost-effectively than the court process.

Both of you sign an ‘Agreement to Mediate’ to enable negotiation to continue on a ‘without prejudice’ basis.  As an impartial third party, mediators do not give legal advice but can give really useful legal information.

What are the benefits of mediation? 

Mediation gives you control over your divorce – you don’t have a judge making critical decisions about your finances and children.

Saving you time and money, it can be completed in several meetings over a few months. One of my recent mediations was successfully tied up in two weeks.    

As a more impartial, considered and confidential approach, mediation can also lessen the emotional impact of separation and divorce on children.

Which divorce scenarios are best suited to mediation?

The majority of situations – including the most financially complex.  

Are there cases where mediation is not appropriate?

Yes, sometimes where there has been domestic abuse the meetings cannot be managed safely.  Even when suitable safety measures are put in place, sometimes there is too great a power imbalance in the relationship for mediation to be successful.   

What is a successful outcome? 

When you reach agreed arrangements which can then be approved on paper by a Judge and made legally binding.  As well as being quicker and cheaper, avoiding a court battle helps to minimise the damaging fallout from a separation for you and your children and to allow you to get on with your lives.

Jones Myers expert mediators can assist you in this non-confrontational option which keeps communication channels open for many divorcing couples.

We offer a free-of-charge 30-minute consultation via telephone or video for new clients. Call our Leeds office 0113 246 0055, our Harrogate office 01423 276104, or our York office on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

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