April 26, 2022

Divorce: the vital questions you have avoided   

The strains of the Easter holidays on families and relationships may prove a trigger point for many spouses to contemplate divorce in the hope that their lives will ‘return to normal.’  

Filing for divorce is traumatic and life-changing with various studies revealing that between one third and one half of divorcees wished they had made more effort to stay in their marriage.       

Before taking the leap, answer these questions:

Do you still love your husband/wife?

A video of a wife who was on the verge of a divorce revealed she knew their marriage could be saved because they still loved each other. If your marriage is worth salvaging, consider counselling sessions to address your issues in a confidential environment.

How would divorce affect your children?

Many adults still remember the bombshell of their parents splitting up. Divorce can be long-lasting and, in some cases, damaging to children’s long-term health. Think through how terminating your relationship will impact on their interests which should always come first.

How would it impact on the wider family and friends?

A marriage break up can have far reaching effects on wider family members who may feel the need to take sides. How would it impact on your support network and important routines such as school runs, sports activities, and holidays? Being divorced can also change the dynamics of your friendships with other couples.   

Can you afford to be divorced?

Fear of starting all over again can cause a state of paralysis. This is particularly applicable to spouses who have not had to deal with financial practicalities such as tax, standing orders and direct debits.

Would you have sufficient income, where would you live – and how would that work for your children’s domestic, schooling and holiday arrangements?

If you are a mother who has stayed at home to bring up your children, would you need to return to work. If so, would this require, retraining, studying etc?

How would it affect your work?

If you are working, does your current work and career involve working shifts and unsociable hours? Would your employer be supportive if you divorced and required extra time off if the children were unwell or, for example, needed taking to appointments?

Would you be happier post-divorce?

Understanding what makes you happy is vital. While some people see divorce as a solution to their problems, many studies indicate that it does not necessarily make them happier.

As a niche family law firm, Jones Myers adopts a holistic approach to family law and has access to tried and tested professionals including counsellors and tax experts.

For advice on divorce or family law related issues, call us at Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit jm2023.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce