Menodivorce or menopause? : Feeling out of control at Christmas

By Sarah Barr-Young, Head of Jones Myers’ Financial Remedies Department in Harrogate

A series of studies have highlighted a connection between menopause and divorce – with many women attributing the menopause as a key factor in their relationship breakdown.

The festive season can be a particularly stressful time for married and separated couples for several reasons. High on the are list are financial worries, concerns about seeing their children – and the pressure of expectations to make the holiday magical and memorable for loved ones.

While I am not a medical expert, I am aware that seasonal stress can exacerbate physical and

mental symptoms of menopause and perimenopause, the transitional phase before menopause. They include tiredness, hot flushes, mood swings along with feelings of inadequacy and shortcomings.

As a family law specialist with extensive experience in working with women in their mid-lives, I know how hard many of them find openly discussing their emotions with their nearest and dearest, a contributory factor in findings linking menopause and divorce.    

Another worrying factor from the research focuses on the vital role of solicitors. Many women who have divorced while undergoing the menopause say their family lawyers failed to include the menopause and its impact on their deteriorating relationships in divorce discussions.

While this may be attributable to a lack of awareness or understanding, it requires addressing as a priority to ensure our family law profession fulfils its responsibility to assess every aspect of our clients’ lives following a relationship breakdown, and guide and support them in reaching the best possible solutions.  

Jones Myers’ holistic approach explores all areas of our clients’ lives, signposting them to third parties, whether this be counsellors, therapists or IFAs, when appropriate. Our firm’s approved internal list of referrers ensures clients receive the highest quality advice for their unique circumstances.    

Finances are another key area where we guide and assist clients undergoing separation or divorce.  

Many perimenopausal and menopausal women deciding to make the break have chosen to sacrifice their careers or put them on hold to bring up their families. This may have prevented them from saving money or accruing a work pension, later prompting major fears of how they will manage post-divorce.    

We recognise clients’ concerns over finances – and how many women during their     marriages have not had to manage practicalities such as tax, standing orders or direct debits.     

Helping clients to plan for their future both pre and post-divorce, our holistic approach sees  us work with tried and tested financial advisers who support our clients to stay on track as  they embark on the next phase of their lives.

I urge all women who are feeling the season’s pressures and thinking about divorce and separation, to seek help from professionals and family lawyers who understand the challenges they face – and who can guide them on the right path.          

For queries on divorce, separation or any aspect of family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), 01904 202550 (York). Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce.

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