War final countdown: how to prevent divorce becoming a court battlefield
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By Jones Myers Partner, Nicki Mitchell – Senior Family Lawyer, Family Law Mediator and Collaborative Family Lawyer
As the high-octane TV drama War inexorably hurtles towards a vitriolic, eye-wateringly expensive public court battle with no holds barred, it is really important to dispel the myth that court litigation is not the only way to divorce and separate.
Thankfully the twists and machinations perpetrated by Carla, Morgan and their manipulative lawyers in the Sky series are far removed from the way 99 per cent of divorces, including High Net Worth ones, are conducted.
I am also keen to explain why the series’ portrayal of mediation as a weapon – as opposed to its increasingly valuable role as a collaborative, non-confrontational option – is also misleading.
Mediation is a means of resolving family disputes constructively, enabling those involved to retain control over decisions affecting their own and their family’s future.
As highlighted in War, by going to court Carla and Morgan hand over those decisions to a judge who knows nothing about them – or what is important to them.
With the right lawyers, mediation can be successful in most situations including the most financially complex. The private, confidential process in a safe, impartial environment involves a mediator like me, an independent third party who helps you and your ex to reach an agreement over key areas.
At the outset both of you sign an Agreement to Mediate so negotiations can continue on a ‘without prejudice’ basis.
The number of discussions/sessions varies for each couple depending upon the complexity of the split. As a facilitator, the mediator assists, guides, and helps you to move dialogue forward.
Many mediators, myself included, are lawyers whose expertise provides useful legal information to inform decisions. Whether legally qualified or not, mediators will recommend each party retains their own solicitor who can provide specific legal advice where required during the process.
An increasing number of couples are choosing mediation to reach an agreement which is formalised in a binding Court Order, often called a Final Order. This legal document officially terminates their marriage without any court involvement.
The mediation process is voluntary, not compulsory. You may have read about a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) meeting, usually relating to cases involving finances or children, which all divorcing couples are expected to attend before court proceedings are issued.
These sessions are compulsory before any application is made to the family court (with very limited exceptions). The MIAM is designed to inform you both about alternative resolution schemes and to establish if the circumstances are suitable for mediation. However, nobody can be forced to mediate.
As a more impartial and considered approach to divorce, mediation’s wide-ranging benefits include a swifter resolution and reduced legal expenses, which can be eye-watering in prolonged court cases between warring couples.
Mediation also prioritises the best interests of children. In War, Carla’s distressed teenage son Gabe is a pawn in a dirty tricks PR campaign. In real life, such actions would have a long-term negative impact.
Lessening the emotional impact and fallout on children involved in divorce and separation, mediation puts their future happiness and wellbeing at the heart of an agreed solution.
For queries on divorce or family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), 202550 (York). Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet 01904 @helpwithdivorce
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