Words of wisdom on divorce from a veteran rock star?

Having been married three times, and with children to five different women, Rod Stewart knows a thing or two about relationships and break ups.

And although he is now happily married to Penny Lancaster-Stewart , he found his divorce from Rachel Hunter to be a difficult experience – particularly the impact on his children. In his recent autobiography, he recalls how he turned to self-help books and therapists to get through his heartbreak.

Now, twenty years after he last wrote his last song, the 68 year old rocker has penned a new single about divorce; ‘It’s Over‘ was showcased recently on The Chris Evans Breakfast Show on BBC Radio 2. The lyrics speak of marriage and relationship breakdown.

Even though Rod Stewart has had his fair share of heartache, the fortune he has amassed over the years means that at least he doesn’t have to worry  financially about providing for his children. It is also to be hoped that as the children grow older he still recognises that they are his children and that he continues to strengthen and enjoy that very special relationship

For the rest of us, divorce often brings a raft of financial concerns; selling the house in a deflated market, paying legal costs and budgeting on a reduced income. For couples with families, they also have to ensure that their children do not go without. It is also a time to reinforce the bond of affection to avoid children feeling isolated and alone.

However emotionally-charged divorce proceedings are, the reality is that divorce is made more amicable when practical matters such as finances are agreed early on. Parents can work out what they need to pay to support their children using the child maintenance calculator.

At Jones Myers, we urge parents to keep the issues of finance and contact entirely separate. Children are sometimes used as a bargaining tool to get more money and this is not viewed well in court. The aggravation will often transmit itself to children causing more problems than it was intended to resolve.

We recommend that divorcing couples sort out their finances quickly and refrain from discussing money in front of children. We understand that financial matters can lead to disagreements, but it is important for parents to put their own feelings to one side and concentrate on what is best for the children.

As the lyrics to Rod Stewart’s song go: “I don’t want our kids to suffer, can’t we talk to one another, you were once my wife my lover, it’s over.”

What are your thoughts on ensuring that children are not caught up in financial negotiations? Leave a comment below, tweet us @HelpWithDivorce or e-mail us here.

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